Bogdana Yarovaya: “At 21, I left the hospital with empty hands and a torn heart”
«I was alive, but dead on the inside. I was 21 years old, and I knew what death is, I knew what it feels like to outlive your own child» - recalls the most terrible period of her life Bogdana Yarovaya. Now, she is a happy mother of three sons, but the price she had to pay for this happiness was excessively high. Bogdana shared her difficult story with us in our blog:
«My story began 20 years ago. From a very young age I wanted to have children. At 21, I got married and my husband and I immediately decided to have a baby. Everything worked out from the first month of planning.
Pregnancy was overshadowed by the hardest toxemia, but I couldn’t even imagine that pregnancy can result in something else than a birth of a child. From 6th to 16th week of pregnancy, I stayed at the hospital and was fed mainly intravenously. Somewhere from the 16th week I started to feel better and left the hospital, began to eat normally. It seemed like the worst stayed in the past. “Only 2% of pregnant women suffer from such strong toxicosis”, “Everything will be fine now, you went through the worst…”, - the doctors told me. And indeed, it became better - I almost reached my 30th week safely.
One night I dreamed of holding a child in my arms, but he was all covered in blood. A couple of days after this dream, in the morning, I noticed that my baby stopped moving and it continued during the day. By the time I was taken to the hospital that evening, I already had a temperature of forty. My boy, my son, died in utero. I had sepsis. I don’t want to describe all the horrors of artificial childbirth, resuscitation, blood transfusion. I remained in resuscitation for almost two weeks. There was no fear of death. It seemed like I already had died with my child.
For the next two years I lived in hell. I divorced my first husband because I knew: I will never be able to forget everything that happened being with him. But as the time passed, I remarried, and at the age of 32 biological clock began to tick in my head very strongly. The desire to have a child overcame the fear of losing it. I got pregnant with Andrey.
And again, the same old story with toxicosis, 20 weeks under droppers, a constant threat – of termination of pregnancy at first and then of preterm birth. After a difficult pregnancy, the labor seemed to me like a stroll in the autumn forest. I was 32 years old and I firmly decided to never get pregnant again.
But time passed, 33, 34, 35, 36 .... And at 36 years old, when little Andrey started growing up, I started to think of another child. Since I had no problems with conception, my husband and I began to plan a pregnancy. Month after month – and to no vain. Another year passed, and eventually I decided to visit fertility specialists.
I knew ISIDA clinic pretty well - I was registered here with Andrey. My friends were able to conceive and gave birth with the help of reproductive technologies at ISIDA. Therefore, there were no questions regarding the choice of medical institution. But there was one about the doctor. I studied different Internet forums and came to the conclusion that the most qualified fertility specialist, who takes on the most difficult situations, is Kseniia Khazhylenko.
On my first visit to Dr. Khazhylenko, I showed her a folder full of analyzes, she told me that there are no visible problems. However, being confused by my medical history, she suggested that I had problems with miscarriage due to the blood issues. And we began the examination. I don’t want to describe the diagnoses, there is no point in doing this, but Dr. Khazhylenko got to the bottom line, and it turned out I had problems with blood clotting.
I remember begging Dr. Khazhylenko to transfer two embryos, but she categorically refused. She spoke to my husband, reminded about the high risks associated with age, as well as the associated problems with blood, talked to embryologist, and in the end still didn’t allow to transfer two embryos. So, our journey began. Embryo transfer- pregnancy - miscarriage. Embryo transfer- pregnancy - miscarriage. Embryo transfer- pregnancy - miscarriage.
How many tears have been shed ... I don’t want and cannot tell you how I relived the death of my first son with every miscarriage. With every new miscarriage, I died again. And only the thought of my eldest son made me pull myself together. Dr. Khazhylenko tried to stop me from experimenting any further, advised to try adoption. I would love to, but in our country it is next to impossible.
So, I was already 40 years old, and I decided that God knows better - this would be my last attempt to get pregnant. I promised Dr. Khazhylenko that this would be the last time. On the day of embryo transfer, Dr. Khazhylenko came into the ward and asked me a completely strange question: “Do you mind if we give it a try to two embryos? Even though there is only 5% chance for successful outcome ”. I was amazed, because for the previous couple of years I had been persuading her to transfer two embryos, and she never agreed.
And on the 5th day after transfer, I did a test and saw 2 strips. Already then it became clear that two babies survived . Dr. Khazhylenko was angry with herself for allowing this to happen. So, a completely different for me pregnancy began. The doctors did everything possible to reach 37 weeks, for what I am forever grateful to them. On the day of labor, Dr. Khazhylenko was the first to visit me and, seeing me crying from happiness, said: “I have already seen the babies, and stop crying! Or I'll start crying myself now”.
Now, looking at my two kids, I cannot imagine how I lived without them before. And most importantly: when my boys were born, for the first time in 20 years I finally let my first son go. Let go of him psychologically. We will meet with him someday, and he will always be in my heart anyway.
And now I'm the happiest mom of three boys. Yes, I am more than sure that children are being distributed in heaven, but the person who carried them from heaven to me is Dr. Khazhylenko. Girls, never give up, never lose hope! Never. Find your doctor - and everything will work out. There is a specialist somewhere who will be able to carry the long-awaited baby from heaven straight to you, too».
Note, that ISIDA clinic patients, who have experienced problem of miscarriage, can get qualified help in the specialized department of the clinic - Recurrent pregnancy loss Treatment Center. Tremendous experience of our specialists, appliance of advanced technologies and methods of treatment, along with strong belief in a successful result, is what will make your long-awaited miracle finally come true, despite all the predictions and diagnoses.
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