A 5-Step Guide to Surrogacy Process for Intended Parents

Surrogacy Process for Intended Parents Explained

Surrogacy offers a unique, beautiful, and overwhelming journey to parenthood to those who cannot conceive and carry pregnancy to term due to myriad factors, including medical and social ones. There are numerous reasons why prospective parents turn to gestational surrogacy: some intended parents finally turn to surrogacy after 11 unsuccessful IVF cycles, three surgeries, and ectopic pregnancy, while others consider surrogacy because of previous high–risk pregnancies and emergency C–Section, few think about surrogacy after pregnancy loss on late–stage or stillbirth, after a surgical intervention or after surviving a life–threatening situation or diagnosis that affected their ability to get pregnant, and a there are some prospective mothers who are dreaming about starting or expanding their families, but they do not want to carry a baby because of personal reasons or considerations, or business they run, or their careers they would like to continue in parallel with making their families complete, thus, preferring to hire a surrogate mother to do this for them.

Single prospective fathers and male couples often opt for gestational surrogacy as it provides them with a viable and fulfilling pathway to parenthood, a journey otherwise constrained by biological limitations. Unlike heterosexual couples, who may (though not always) have the option to use the intended mother’s egg, single men and male couples typically need to choose an egg donor to complement their surrogacy process, ensuring that all components needed to create a family are thoughtfully and lovingly brought together.

A surrogacy journey consists of many milestones that lead to the most incredible event of all: bringing home your baby or babies (in case of multiple pregnancy). Many intended parents prefer to work with an agency because they manage all process, starting from tailoring surrogacy program to the case and needs, finding a gestational surrogate, medical and legal clearance, finalizing surrogacy agreement to assisting with obtaining the baby’s birth certificate and preparing the documents to apply for the baby’s passport. 

Every surrogacy is different, and on its own timeline, and if you select working with an experienced team of surrogacy professionals, they will be by your side for the duration of your surrogacy, managing the logistics, financing, legal part of the process, the nuances, and many more things coming along with surrogacy arrangement. The length of the process depends on your personal preferences and situation, but an average journey can last 16–18 or even longer, up to 24 months.

Traditional Surrogacy

There are two types of surrogacy: traditional surrogacy and gestational. Traditional surrogate donates her egg for in vitro fertilization (IVF), thus, is a biological mother. Traditional surrogate is usually a friend or family member wishing to help the childless individual or couple. Surrogate pregnancy is achieved trough intrauterine insemination procedure or in vitro fertilization. Those who do not have someone wishing to become their traditional surrogate should consider a friendly destination with clear surrogacy laws. 

Gestational Surrogacy Process

Gestational surrogate only gestates the embryo created using the prospective mother’s or donor’s oocytes fertilized using sperm from the intended father or donor, thus, she has no genetic link to the baby she carries. Gestational carrier becomes pregnant after the embryo is transferred to her uterus. Due to legal complexities of traditional surrogacy, most of agencies work with gestational carriers and initiate the gestational surrogacies. 

Steps of the Surrogacy Process for Intended Parents

Understanding the surrogacy process can be daunting for surrogates and intended parents at first glance, given its complexity and length. However, by breaking it down into five manageable steps, our goal is to demystify each stage, highlight key milestones, provide estimated timelines, and set realistic expectations. It’s important to remember that each surrogacy experience is uniquely tailored, meaning durations and specifics can vary. Below, we outline the major steps of surrogacy:

1. Application, Intro Call, Consultation, and Sign-On
2. Matching With a Surrogate Mother
3. Medical Procedures and Legal Arrangements
4. Pregnancy
5. Parenthood and Beyond

Step 1: Application, Intro Call, and Sign On (1–3 Months)

Milestones:

• Submitting an application
• Booking intro video call with the agency’s team
• In–depth consultation with the agency, which can be conducted via video call or an in-person meeting
• Signing the agreement for surrogacy services
• Matching with an egg donor (if required)
• Initiating the process to create embryos (if required) 

During the initial phase of your surrogacy journey, you will take the first steps towards building your family by engaging with a surrogacy agency. This process typically involves submitting a detailed application that allows the agency to understand your specific needs, preferences, and expectations from the surrogacy experience.

Following the application, you will have an introductory video call with the agency’s team. This is an opportunity for you to ask questions, get to know the agency better, and for them to understand your needs more precisely. It’s essential to communicate openly during this call, as it sets the foundation for your entire surrogacy journey.

After the intro call, an in–depth consultation is scheduled. This can be done either through a video call or an in–person meeting, depending on your preference and the agency’s policies. During the consultation, you will discuss the legal, medical, and financial aspects of the surrogacy process, ensuring you have a comprehensive understanding of what lies ahead.

Once you feel comfortable and ready to proceed, the next step is to sign the agreement for surrogacy services. This legally binding document outlines the terms and conditions of the surrogacy arrangement, ensuring clarity and protection for all parties involved.

If you require an egg donor or sperm donor, the agency will assist you in finding a suitable match based on your preferences. This is a vital step in ensuring the health and well–being of your future child.

If you choose to create embryos at this stage, the agency will guide you through the process, which involves selecting a fertility clinic and starting the necessary medical procedures. A reputable agency will connect with your chosen fertility clinic, or if you haven’t decided on one yet, they will assist you in selecting a reputable clinic. This may involve providing referrals to well–known clinics across the country.

For intended parents who have already created and stored embryos, whether abroad or in a different state, this phase will primarily involve ensuring all the legal and medical documentation is in order. Your stored embryos will remain safe until the agency has successfully matched you with a surrogate mother, at which point the next steps of your surrogacy journey will begin.

Step 2. Matching With a Surrogate Mother (1–6 Months)

Milestones:

• Surrogate matching process and approval
• Intro video call with surrogate mother
• In–person meeting (if required) 
• Compatibility assessment
• Match Confirmation
• Introduction to Coordination Team 

It is worth noting, that more and more agencies match the aspiring parents with pre–screened surrogates who completed medical clearance and are suitable for pregnancy according to medical requirements. 

The matching stage is one of the most anticipating and exciting — you will be introduced to the gorgeous woman committed to fulfilling your utmost dream of welcoming the newborn, and she will be introduced to you. Surrogacy agencies typically present gestational surrogate candidates who have successfully navigated a comprehensive 3– or 4–step screening process, ensuring they are fully vetted and prepared for the journey ahead.

Matching Specialists, who play a vital role in this stage, meticulously assess the preferences, values, and expectations of both the prospective parents and the gestational surrogate candidates to facilitate a harmonious and compatible match. Upon identifying a potential match, the agency coordinates an initial meeting, which can take the form of a video call, an interview, or an in–person meeting, to introduce the potential intended parents to the potential surrogate mother. This meeting is essential as it lays the foundation for the relationship between the intended parents and the surrogate mother. It also provides an opportunity for both parties to ask questions, discuss expectations, and evaluate the level of comfort and connection they feel with each other. Building a strong and positive relationship is essential for a successful surrogacy journey, as it fosters trust, communication, and mutual respect throughout the process.

In cases where the initial match does not result in a perfect fit, it is vital for both the intended parents and the surrogate mother to communicate their feelings with the agency transparently. The agency’s priority is to ensure a good match, and they are committed to facilitating additional introductions (if necessary) to find the best possible match for a successful and positive surrogacy experience.

Once the match is confirmed, the agency will introduce them to their Coordination team, who will take the time to explain the upcoming surrogacy steps and process in detail so you fully understand what to expect at each milestone. It will also be the team that manages your journey and supports you every step of the way. Your team may consist of dedicated Program Coordinators/Personal Managers, a Lawyer and Legal Assistant, a Pregnancy Care Coordinator, a Medical Coordinator, a Financial Assistant, an Accountant, and a Medical Billing Specialist. Or, if you work with a small/boutique agency, your team will be small, but still, there will be a Dedicated Case Manager, a Lawyer, and an Accountant.

It is worth noting that in some cases when intended parents have independently found a suitable surrogate mother through support communities, surrogacy networks, or personal connections, the Matching phase may be skipped. Nevertheless, the agency will still facilitate the necessary paperwork and coordination to ensure a smooth transition to the next stage of the process.

Step 3. Medical Procedures, IVF, and Legal Arrangements (3–4 Months)

Milestones:

• Surrogate mother’s medical screening
• Signing the contract with a surrogate mother
• Embryo transfer
• Pregnancy testing

During the medical & legal phase, the surrogacy journey is filled with many small milestones leading to the two most awaited moments of each surrogacy journey — transferring the embryos and staying anxious until hearing the baby’s heartbeat for the first time. 

Surrogate’s Medical Screening and Approval 

First, your surrogate must undergo an extensive medical evaluation at fertility clinic including a consultation with obstetrician, a vital step in ensuring her suitability and preparedness for the surrogacy journey. The medical team, consisting of experienced doctors, nurses, and specialists, will conduct a series of examinations and tests to assess her overall health.

Surrogate Medications and Monitoring

Once your surrogate mother has been cleared by the clinic, she will start taking medications and injections that contain hormones such as estrogen and progesterone according to her treatment protocol, tailored to synchronize her menstrual cycle with that of the egg donor or intended mother and to prepare her uterus for embryo implantation. 

The medical team diligently oversees this phase, ensuring that the surrogate mother is properly administering the medications and is experiencing minimal side effects. Regular check–ins, whether in–person or virtual, provide possibilities for the surrogate mother to ask questions and report any symptoms she may be encountering. The healthcare providers, in turn, offer guidance and support, adjusting the medication regimen if necessary to guarantee her comfort and safety.

To ensure her body is responding positively to the medications, she will be required to visit a fertility clinic or her local clinic for monitoring.

Signing the Contract with a Surrogate Mother

In this phase, you will work closely with your attorney to blueprint, draft and finalize the Surrogacy Contract while your surrogate mother does the same with her legal representative. It’s essential for both intended parents and surrogate mothers to have separate legal counsel to ensure a fair and transparent negotiation of the contract terms. This process may take a few weeks as all parties work diligently to align on the agreement’s details.

Embryo Transfer and Pregnancy Testing

Upon clinic confirmation that your surrogate mother is ready for the embryo transfer, she will take a 3–7 day trip to your chosen clinic. Intended parents are welcome to be present, offering a chance to connect with their surrogate and her support person. Post–transfer, the surrogate mother returns home, attending local clinic appointments for beta tests until a potential pregnancy is confirmed around 10–14 days later. At six weeks, she will visit her clinic for an ultrasound scan and confirmation of the baby’s heartbeat.

Step 4. Pregnancy (9 months)

Milestones:

• Local clinic appointments, testing, and ultrasound scans 
• Creating the birth plan 
• Establishing parental rights
• Getting ready to bring your newborn home

Regular Appointments and Ultrasounds

Around ten weeks of pregnancy or early in her second trimester, the surrogate mother will transition from the IVF clinic or her local clinic to her chosen OB/GYN. Around the halfway point at 20 weeks, she will undergo a comprehensive ultrasound scan to assess the baby’s development and check for any abnormalities. This screening scan can reveal a lot of information about the growing fetus, and for parents who haven’t opted for gender selection through IVF, it can be a special moment to discover the baby’s gender. 

Securing Parental Rights and Creating a Birth Plan

As the pregnancy progresses into the latter part of the second trimester, it’s time for the intended parents to start formalizing the birth plan with their surrogate mother. This collaborative process ensures that everyone’s preferences for the delivery day are clearly outlined and agreed upon. In tandem with this, the intended parents must engage with legal professionals, both their own attorney and a local counsel in the surrogate mother’s state, to legally solidify their parental rights.

Getting Ready to Bring Your Newborn Home

As you eagerly anticipate your newborn’s arrival, don’t overlook the enjoyable aspects of preparation. Take time to decorate the nursery, plan your travel for the delivery, and pick out your baby’s first outfits and accessories for the journey home.

Step 5. Parenthood and Beyond the Surrogacy Journey 

Milestones: 

• Embracing the joy of becoming parents
• Finalizing documentation and travel preparations
• Obtaining baby’s passport (if required)
• Saying goodbye to the surrogate mother and starting the new chapter

Stepping into the world of parenthood brings an overwhelming sense of joy and responsibility. As the hospital releases your precious newborn, it might seem surreal that you are now entrusted with this tiny human’s life. Your agency’s dedicated team will be at your side, guiding you through these initial moments of parenthood, assisting with essential tasks like adding your baby to your health insurance and answering any questions you might have.

If you’re a U.S. resident, the journey home usually happens within a few days after being discharged from the hospital, be it by car or plane. International parents might find themselves staying in the U.S. for up to four weeks, or perhaps even longer, as they sort out their baby’s passport and finalize other travel–related formalities. The time you decide to spend in your baby’s birth city is entirely up to you. Some parents choose to stay longer, fostering the relationship with their surrogate mother and her family, while others might prefer to head home and settle into their new routine with the baby.

Saying goodbye to your surrogate mother and her family is an emotional part of the journey. It marks the end of your surrogacy journey and the beginning of your new life as parents. Make sure to express your gratitude and maintain a connection, if that is something both parties are comfortable with. As you travel home with your newborn in arms, take a moment to reflect on the incredible journey you’ve been on and the beautiful future that lies ahead. Parenthood is an everlasting adventure, and now, it’s your turn to embrace it fully and wholeheartedly.

Wrapping Things Up

In conclusion, surrogacy stands out as a profound and meaningful journey, opening doors to parenthood for a diverse array of individuals and couples, irrespective of their medical background or life circumstances. From those grappling with fertility challenges and medical issues to single parents and same–sex couples, surrogacy brings hope and a viable path to realizing the dream of parenthood, transcending biological limitations, and opening up new possibilities for family creation. The process, while complicated and demanding, is illuminated by the support of dedicated professionals and the unbreakable bond of families coming together to bring new life into the world. Surrogacy is more than just a medical procedure; it is a celebration of life, love, and the extraordinary lengths people will go to realize their dreams of parenthood.