A Guide for Future Parents: Taking Your First Steps in the Surrogacy Process

Surrogacy offers a unique, beautiful, and profound journey to parenthood. There are numerous reasons why prospective parents turn to surrogacy when starting or expanding their families. These reasons may include fertility challenges, a history of failed IVF cycles leading to multiple implantation failures, miscarriages, or recurrent pregnancy loss. Other factors could be the emotional stress following a stillbirth, advanced maternal age, health issues that prevent conception or carrying a pregnancy to term, previous high–risk pregnancies, being in a same-sex relationship, or a personal choice not to carry a pregnancy while still wanting to experience the joy of having a child.

Stepping into surrogacy as a first–time intended parent can feel overwhelming, but it is also an adventure filled with hope and anticipation. From exploring surrogacy agencies worldwide and navigating varied legal landscapes to completing applications and eagerly awaiting introductory calls from case managers — every step is a move closer to your dream. You might find yourself participating in both online and offline initial interviews with selected agencies, diving deeper into their processes, timelines, and available programs. Some even choose to travel, booking flights and accommodations to meet surrogacy and legal professionals in person, ensuring they have all the information they need to make the best choices for their future family.

While surrogacy can be a long, complex, and emotional journey to parenthood, sometimes extending beyond 18 months and incurring expenses upwards of $300,000, the moment you hold your newborn for the first time is so overwhelming and incredible that every step taken, every challenge faced, was worth it. This journey is about more than just the destination; it’s about creating a family and the extraordinary lengths to which love will go.

Considerations Before Starting Surrogacy

Prospective parents who choose surrogacy as their perfect option should be ready for an experience that requires not only dedication and timing but also openness and honesty — with your clinic and agency, with your future surrogate mother, and with each other (if you have a partner). Surrogacy professionals will encourage a healthy and strong relationship with your gestational surrogate mother to help ensure as smooth a journey as possible, but also to provide you opportunities to learn all about your baby and feel a part of the surrogacy pregnancy. 

Whether you are just starting the surrogacy process, or you are exploring surrogacy after infertility challenges, the surrogacy professionals you are working with or will be working with are committed to supporting you at each step, guiding you through this journey and sharing their expertise and passion until you take your baby home.

Your First Steps into Surrogacy as Intended Parents

Embarking on a surrogacy journey may initially bring feelings of anxiety, especially when taking that crucial first step feels intimidating due to uncertainty about where to begin. To help alleviate these concerns and simplify the process, we’ve outlined the early stages of surrogacy in three manageable steps:

1. Select a Surrogacy Agency: Finding a reputable agency is paramount, as they will guide you throughout the journey, offering support and connecting you with other essential services.
2. Choose an IVF Clinic in Partnership with Your Surrogacy Agency: Selecting a clinic that collaborates well with your agency ensures a more seamless and coordinated experience.
3. Opt for an Egg Donor (If Needed): In certain situations, you may also need to consider selecting a sperm donor.

Step 1: Selecting a Surrogacy Agency

We recommend selecting an agency as the first step you take for a few reasons. First, the wait time to get matched with a perfect surrogate mother may take time (and in most cases, matching may take between one to six months or even more in case of rematching), and the moment you officially sign on with an agency by hitting submit button of your application, you will be added to the surrogate mother matching list. 

Once you have secured your spot, you are free to proceed with the other necessary steps in the surrogacy process while you await your match. Given the extensive variety of surrogacy agencies available, it is essential to establish specific criteria to help determine the most suitable agency for your needs. To help you select a brilliant surrogacy agency, we have created this article to guide you on what to look for in a surrogacy agency.

The second reason for selecting an agency as the first step is that having the support of an agency can help lead, educate, and guide you from the beginning of your journey with empathy, expertise, and compassion, ensuring that you feel understood and supported every step of the way. A full–service agency like Golden Surrogacy, Circle Surrogacy, Hatch Fertility, SurrogateFirst, or ConceiveAbilities will provide support and guidance in choosing the right fertility clinic (should you need their expertise) and an egg donor or sperm donor (if one is required).

The third reason for selecting an agency as the first step is that an experienced agency will explain the surrogacy process in detail, guide you through the various legal and financial aspects, help you understand the legislation and legal nuances involved, and assist you in making well–informed decisions tailored to your unique situation. They are adept at navigating the complexities of surrogacy agreements, ensuring that all contractual elements are clear, fair, and legally binding. Furthermore, they play a vital role in managing not only the surrogacy process but also all expectations, providing emotional support, and facilitating smooth communication between all parties involved.

Choosing a Surrogacy Agency: What to Look For

When selecting a surrogacy agency, it’s essential to look for certain qualities and offerings to ensure you make the right choice. Here are some factors to consider:

• Experience and Reputation: Look for an agency with a solid track record and positive reviews from previous intended parents.
• Transparency: Ensure the agency is open about its processes, costs, and timelines.
• Support and Communication: Choose an agency that offers comprehensive support and maintains open lines of communication throughout the surrogacy journey.
• Legal Expertise: Make sure the agency has legal experts on staff or works closely with experienced surrogacy attorneys to navigate the legal complexities of surrogacy.
• Matching Process: Understand the agency’s process for matching you with a surrogate mother and ensure that it aligns with your preferences and values.

Step 2: Selecting an IVF Clinic Partnering with Your Surrogacy Agency

Once you have selected a surrogacy agency, the next step is to choose an in vitro fertilization (IVF) clinic. It is beneficial to select a clinic that has a partnership or a good working relationship with your surrogacy agency to ensure smooth coordination throughout the process. However, if you have already chosen a fertility clinic prior to selecting your agency, a reputable surrogacy agency will proactively reach out and establish connections with the clinic’s care team, ensuring that all parties are aligned and working collaboratively for your benefit.

Choosing a Fertility Clinic: What to Look For

When embarking on your surrogacy journey, choosing the right fertility clinic is an essential decision. Here are key factors to consider ensuring you make the best choice for your needs:

• Expertise and Success Rates: Look for a clinic with a team of experienced fertility specialists and a track record of high success rates. Review their success stories and ask about their experience with surrogacy cases specifically.
• Facilities and Technology: Ensure that the clinic is equipped with state–of–the–art technology and facilities. This includes having access to the latest advancements in fertility treatments and diagnostic tools.
• Location: Consider the clinic’s location, taking into account the frequency of visits required throughout the process and the convenience it offers.
• Patient Support: Choose a clinic that provides comprehensive patient support services. This should encompass counseling, guidance, and any other resources that can help you navigate the emotional aspects of your fertility journey.
• Guarantees and Backup Options: Investigate if the clinic offers any guarantees, such as a specific number of blastocysts or a baby–born guarantee. Additionally, inquire about their backup options, which might include multi–cycle IVF programs, frozen embryo transfer options in case a fresh transfer doesn’t succeed, and the inclusion of embryo vitrification. Check if preimplantation genetic testing is available and whether it’s part of the basic bundle.

By thoroughly evaluating these factors, you can ensure that you select a fertility clinic that not only meets your medical needs but also provides the support and resources necessary for a successful surrogacy journey.

Step 3: Selecting an Egg Donor 

Should your journey to parenthood necessitate the assistance of an egg donor, embarking on the selection process is the next step. We highly recommend exploring the options of intelligent and bright egg donors connected with your surrogacy agency, or selecting a donor directly from the agency’s comprehensive in–house database. Typically, established and trustworthy surrogacy agencies provide a variety of choices, including both fresh and frozen egg donor options, all while ensuring a transparent donation process and a personalized matching experience. Their expert team deeply understands the importance of finding the perfect donor match, acknowledging the lasting impact that this decision will have on your future family.

Choosing an Egg Donor (If Needed)

If you require an egg donor, your surrogacy agency and IVF clinic can assist you in finding a suitable match. When selecting an egg donor, consider the following:

• Health and Medical History: Ensure that the donor is in good health and has a clear medical history.
• Physical Characteristics: When choosing an egg donor, you might want to take a close look at her physical features, such as height, build, hair color, eye color, and other distinguishing characteristics. These traits are often significant for intended parents who wish for the child to bear a resemblance to them. Ensuring that the donor’s physical attributes align with your preferences can be an essential aspect of the selection process.
• Genetic Makeup: Beyond physical appearance, delving into the donor’s genetic makeup is vital. This involves understanding her health history, potential hereditary conditions, and any genetic traits that might be passed down to the child. A comprehensive genetic screening of the donor can provide insight into these aspects, helping you make an informed decision that considers the long–term well–being of your future child.
• Personality and Interests: Some intended parents also consider the donor’s personality, interests, and educational background.
• Legal and Ethical Aspects: Ensure that all legal and ethical aspects of egg donation are addressed, and proper contracts are in place.

Wrapping Things Up

Embarking on a surrogacy journey is a significant decision and requires careful planning and consideration. By following these initial steps and selecting the right agency, IVF clinic, and egg donor, you are setting a strong foundation for a successful and fulfilling surrogacy experience. Remember to take your time, ask questions, and seek support when needed, and you will be well on your way to becoming intended parents.