Pregnancy and Relationship – How Not to Drive Him Crazy

An ideal relationship is something more than beautiful, or something more charming. It is something intriguing, something inspiring, something complicated, something delicate, something glowing, something extraordinary, something mysterious, something passionate, something intimidating, something that prioritizes affection, reassurance, and trust. An ideal relationship is an aspiration, compassion, sympathy, deep emotional connection to one another, delicate tandem of passion and a gorgeousness of its expression, glowing bundle of wonder, intimacy, unsolved mystery, delicately scented air flows, bouquet of tightly closed pastel–colored flower–buds which are nearly unfolding, sweep whisper of delicacy, soothing words of the wistful glances, the moment when he hugs her so close to him.

And even if you have always been someone who has preferred an exclusive relationship to casual dating, and after that married your significant other, still there are multiple complexities around your wonderful relationship during your pregnancy’s time that is presented to both of you. Embrace that you won’t be always the best possible version of yourself. Embrace that sometimes something may disrupt an absolute elegance of your relationship or steal away all its delicate romance, even if your relationship is the strongest, and one of the most durable type.

Being pregnant means being overemotional. Being overwhelmed with emotions. Being hugged by your emotions. Being lost in your emotions. Being absolutely confused by your emotions. Being embarrassed by your emotions. Being very vulnerable because of having the delicate nervous system during pregnancy. Embrace that sometimes you will be wondering what your beloved is doing, where he is going and if he is telling the truth. Embrace that sometimes you will be utterly sensitive because of the emotions, and your cognition will represent you the inaccurate meaning of the words. Embrace that sometimes you will have irrelevant thoughts that your relationship is filled with empty promises and canceled plans and your beloved is not making you a priority anymore, and it will become very hurtful, and sometimes you will be totally lost because of the irrational thoughts what is actually happens with you. Embrace that sometimes you will feel like you are not an absolutely perfect version of yourself and that the feelings are not the same and probably the respect is not the same. Embrace that sometimes your conversations will be full of arguments because you both are frustrated. Embrace that sometimes you will feel lonely. Embrace that sometimes you will feel those disrupting emotions but will have to represent the other emotional version verbally. Embrace that sometimes you will feel no passion at all and all your thoughts will be about your passionless relationship. Embrace all your emotions instead of suppressing them.

Embrace all your feelings and have a conversation with your significant other about them. Do not keep your feelings to yourself. Do not challenge yourself to be so vulnerable. Do not challenge yourself to overthink about everything. Do not challenge yourself to do everything to make your relationship perfect through the complete negligence, or ignorance of something that is important to you. You can cope with mostly everything. Even if your conversation became nervous or even if your conversation is cordial BUT awkward.

Sometimes several words are enough to change everything around you. Sometimes several words are enough to change you. Try the most delicate soothing method – conversation. Conversation is the best way to cope with any situation. Conversation with your significant other, even if it is held in a whisper, is something inspiring, something that makes you think in a different way than you ever have before, but without ever losing sight of yourself and of who you are, something that helps you to stop thinking about status and self–importance and image and brand and all those other awful concepts.

Why is the conversation with your beloved so essential for you both? 

Delicate conversation is the only implicit and explicit thing that harmonizes and balances your relationship. Conversation reveals verbally everything that is envisioned, considered, and supposed. It is a strong imperative of your relationship. Everything is based on words. Choosing the word, you are choosing your fortune and your beloved fortune. Everything is disrupted and is inspired by the conversation. Everything is revealed through the conversation. Everything is changed through the conversation. Everything is stabilized through the conversation. If you feel that something going wrong in your relationship, you need a conversation.

But not spontaneous conversation right now, as you have just finished reading the previous paragraph. Because spontaneous conversation may disrupt something essential in your relationship, may disrupt your vision, may interfere with your decisions, may force you to forget about your wishes.

Yes, you should have a flow of conversation with your beloved, and not through text messaging. You should have a flow of verbal conversation. Conversation with wonderful eyes. Conversation with glowing glances. Conversation in hushed voices. Conversation with gorgeous smiles. Conversation with transparent drops of tears. Conversation with hugs. Conversations with holding only the fingertips. Conversations with holding only the wrists. Conversations with holding only the shoulders. Conversations without words. Conversations with only hugs and glances…

Why should it be the conversation with your significant other?

Your significant other is the person who makes you feel so comfortable that you don’t hold back from saying what’s on your mind. Your significant other is the person who shows you a whole other world without ever trying to force their way of thinking onto you. Your significant other is the person who teaches you things and wants you to teach him, too. Your significant other is the person who sparkles so many glittering emotions inside your soul. Your significant other is the person whose touch and affection you truly love and admire. Your significant other is the person whose eyes are so deep. Your significant other is the person whose voice is so comforting. Your significant other is the person in whose passionate hugs you are never embarrassed, and always at ease even with tearful eyes, even when you are breathing hard, even when you are trembling, even if you are hugged in the hugging–from–behind. When he holds you close and that’s enough and for the first time to soothe you, and there isn’t pressure to do anything more because you know it will happen, it just doesn’t have to happen right now. And you forget what it was like to be a bundle of nerves as your vision refocuses, so you feel the utmost delicate sensation of your hidden beauty inside your soul, gorgeousness, perfectness. Everything that was emotional, confusing, embarrassing, even heartbreaking is forgotten in his hugs. Only the intriguing conversation that can go on forever and never lose its spark or its meaning, only languorous dark eyes that permeate through your thoughts, only language of the eyes that penetrates through your soul are left. Nothing to wonder about, nothing to worry about, nothing to be anxious about.

1. Identify the hidden complexities of your relationship before the conversation

Just make two simple things: take a new notebook (without any notes inside on its pages) and your pen and note down everything you are utterly nervous about. Without any limitations on the word expressions. Without any paraphrasing of what you would like to say. Without anything, you want to hide from yourself. Just note down everything you feel about your relations. Write down as fast as you can in your notebook the notes because you have all these colliding thoughts that are desperate to be formed into words and sentences and paragraphs. You desperate have this urge to get this anger, anxiety, confusion, embarrassment, frustration, irritation, shame, self–worthlessness out of you. Everything and nothing makes sense because as you write the notes down, you are reliving every painful and tragic emotion you are feeling at that moment.

You are writing to learn how to work with your anger, how not to end up ignoring it, how to understand it, and how to embrace it. You are writing to learn how to embrace the feelings of anger, loneliness, and helplessness with understanding and compassion. You are writing to learn how to become an emotionally responsible person. You are writing to ease the anger in the realization that something is wrong, something is undesirable to occur, something should unfold in the other version. You are writing both to remember and forget every emotion that is both destroying you and creating your reality. You just keep writing about everything that confuses, embarrass, irritates, frustrates, despairs, makes you angry, anxious, intimidated, numbed, or trembling with fear.

But anger most of all times is your choice to react to somebody’s behavior, to somebody’s actions, to something tragical that occurs in the reality. It isn’t the person who glimpsed at you with a withering glance and curled a cruel smile, it isn’t the person who whispered delicately an insulting remark, it is not the thing that is actually making you angry, it is only your inner imbalances between ‘harmony’ and ‘frustration’.

And more important is that you can change it. Yes, you can change it completely. The next time you get angry, stop your thoughts’ flow and think logically about why you are angry. Is it because you are confused? Is it because you are embarrassed? Is it because you are worried? Is it because you are anxious? Is it because you are disappointed? Is it because you are intimidated? Is it because you are feeling self–worthlessness? Your consciousness and subconsciousness will represent all versions and all scenarios of possible causes.

• Note down everything you are associating with your relations.
• Note down everything that is perfect for your relations.
• Note down everything that is imperfect in your relations.
• Note down how everything can be altered.
• Note down what can be prevented.

The next thing you should do is to write down in your notebook the conclusive comments about the things which you supposed to be the causes of your anger/anguish/anxiety/confusion/despair/embarrassment/emotional abuse/frustration/irritation/indignation/nervous–breakdown. List them all. List everything that these causes may disrupt in the reality. List the most negative consequences of such disruptions. List how these disruptions may affect you. List everything that might be lost in case if the worst scenarios are realized. List everything you might have after that. List everything.

Close your notebook and leave it closed at least for one hour. If you feel that you do want to sit comfortably in your bed, then do it, if you feel you do want to scream, then take your pastel–colored pillow and do it, if you feel you do want to burst out crying, then do it. Whatever you feel may soothe you and help you to cope with your anger, anguish, anxiety, confusion, embarrassment, emotional abuse, frustration, irritation, indignation, – do it. If you do want to cope with your anger, you may spend this hour reading and analyzing the article http://ovu.com/blog/best-ways-to-control-anger-during-pregnancy

But there are moments where you question it all. There are still moments you catch yourself looking back and wondering.

• ‘Why do I feel this way?’
• Am I the only one?
• Is there something wrong with me?
• And if I’m not different why do I feel like I am?

You cannot forget these dilemmas because you will still wonder about all that. Just add these notes to your previous notes under the title: ‘I wonder why [insert your version]’.

In one hour or so, turn on the pages of your notebook with your previous notes (it should be without any notes written down) and start noting down everything about your relations from absolutely different conception. This version will impress you when you reread it. Every page should contain notes about the definite stage of your relationship. Conclusively, you will reveal the definite causes of every single situation you were involved in, particularly, everything that has never been explicit would be represented in the most probable versions, everything that has always been associated with repulsed romantic gestures and contained the controversial meaning, every undesirable recurrent thing that has occurred into your life during your relationship. Furthermore, you will understand how to alter the present–following intimidating consequences, how to implement your inclusion and exclusion criteria for the current situation, and how to prevent threatening situations in your relationship. 

1. The very first time you met each other

1. Do you remember the day when you met your significant other?

2. Was it early autumn time, winter season, the gorgeous time of delicate spring blossoms were unfolding?

3. What do you associate with that day or what remembrances do you have about that special day?

Was it the dull September’s morning when you were lying into your bed feeling the soft silk material of your sheets and the heavenly sensation of your warm feet wrapped in your blankets, rolling over into a perfect pastel–colored warm cocoon because of profound sorrow and deep frustration? ‘Just ten more minutes, it is not so long’, you begged your soul? Or... Was it the crispy October afternoon when you were walking down the streets looking for something special, you were numbed because of so many conflicting emotions inspired by the remembrances you wished you had never had, and the air flows were so cold and so different, and you were so embarrassed and so lost? Or… Was it Glittering spring day and you were entering the perfumes’ boutique to choose the new fragrances and you let your reality to be turned into a special occasion for an hour by whirling around yourself various fragrances, but which were more mysterious, more enchanting, and more intriguing, it was a blend of warmth and sparkles, which faded into the bright delicious warmth of the flowers? Or… Was it Sparkling spring’s evening and you were strolling down the streets somewhere? Or… Was it Christmas season’s time and all the air flows were exquisitely scented with deep, mysterious, enchanting and sensually beautiful fragrances, and you were fascinated by watching motes of dust floating through a ray of moonlight? Or was it early spring time when the air flows were still cold but scented with something gorgeous, something delicate, something elegantly sweet blossomed, and you were intrigued by the way the tiny particles would glow golden in the light just seemed to freeze time, and it was so magical? Or was it the last days of November when you were completing typing something on your laptop and suddenly was intrigued and intimidated by one ‘handsome’ fragrance which gave you that warm feeling, and it was a hazy, golden, soft focus quality to it, the feeling of sun warming your skin, that magical hour or so in the evening when the light turns everything to gold? Or was it blossoming springtime when the air flows were delicately scented, you were walking down the street to the cafeteria and breathing the whirls of the scented air, and the fragrance’s opening was very full, heady and strong, a little too strong, too glittering, and after a few minutes, it calmed right down into something absolutely gorgeous with wonderful staying power, and everything around was like a dream in its dusky, sweet, exquisiteness?

4. What was the situation when you met for the very first time?

5. What were you doing?

Staying near the stairs? Waiting for someone to come? Typing the message? Turning your head around? Or, maybe, you ran away from yourself? Did you run away from your feelings, run away from your intentions, run away from your wishes, run away from the beauty, run away from the harmony of what could be?

6. What might be associated closely with your feelings? Can you say that your feelings were blossoming into a beautiful warmth? Or everything was so confusing, and embarrassing that you felt yourself far away from perfect? Was there something that made you anxious? Was there something that confused, or embarrassed you? Was there something that intimidated you? Was there something that irritated you?

7. Was there something you loved the most? A sweet whisper of powderiness, gorgeous makeup, stylish hairdo?

8. Was there something special you glimpsed at?

9. Was there something special you noticed?

10. Was there something special you glanced at?

11. Gorgeous eyes? Curled smile? Wonderful wrists? Elegant shoes?

12. Was there something

13. What did you feel?

14 Was there a special feeling?

15. Was there something intriguing?

16. Was there something intimidating?

17. Was there something gorgeous?

18. What did you hear around?

19. Were there any background noises? Music?

20. Voices speaking? What was being discussed? Was it the voice of your beloved?

21. Did you feel a flow of fresh air? Did you breathe that flow of fresh air?

22. Were there any perfume fragrances in the air? Which scents of perfumes’ fragrances did you distinguish?

23. Which fragrances gave the wonderful comforting ‘feel’ to those scents? Was there an intrinsic feature of any scent to be personal and to convey unique feelings and emotions? Were there rich and soft fragrances based on luminous jasmine note?

24. What was the very first you glanced at, or glimpsed at, or heard, or sniffed and was associated with the very first time you noticed your significant other? Gorgeous eyes? Curled smile? Wonderful wrists? Elegant shoes?

25. Who first started the conversation (you or he)?

26. What was the conversation about?

27. Do you remember his glance? Do you remember how did he glance at you? Do you remember how did you glance at him? Was there something like a ‘glance–connection’?

28. Do you remember his voice? Do you remember the tone and emotional envelope of his conversation? Do you remember your behavior? Do you remember the tone and emotional envelope of your conversation?

29. Do you remember the gestures? Were they gorgeous?

30. Were you both metaphorically ‘glowing’ in the very beginning of your relationship? And how did you continue that very first conversation later? Who phoned or messaged the first?

Sometimes the love and relationship are two controversial extremes, two unsurpassable versions of spiritual values, two charmingly–cordial patterns which disrupt your soul because of constant prevailing of sensational ‘LOVE’ or cognitive ‘RELATIONSHIP’ constituent, because being in a relationship does not just focus on feelings. You became a bundle of nerves listening accurately to the delicate whisper of your soul and hearing the loud voice of your consciousness. Your cognition struggles to balance the twisting thoughts and inspired emotions. Are you wondering why does it happen sometimes? Basically, you and your beloved should have a mutual understanding of every aspect of your relationship. The relationship should be based on affection and understanding of the peculiarities of it. It should synchronize the ideal version of your vision and the reality. Everything is constantly changing. The version of yourself you were yesterday is absolutely different from the version of yourself you are today. The same happens to your significant other. Every moment changes both of you. Every situation changes both of you. Every thought changes both of you. Every word changes both of you. Every glance at each other changes both of you. Every tone of voice changes both of you. Every smile changes both of you. Every gesture changes both of you. And if You neglect noticing these alterations, the undesirable, disrupting or destroying consequences will show up in the nearest time. Never ignore any tiny alteration in your relationship. As it may destroy everything in your life. Nervous tension, anxiety, depression may enter your life and replace the love totally. But you can change it.

2. The ‘HONEYMOON’ of your relationship

31. Do you remember how did you fall in love? Do you remember what exactly inspired the warmth of your soul? Was it the behavioral pattern? Was it the emotional pattern? Was it the cognitive pattern? Was it the communicative pattern? Was it the psychological pattern? Was it something else, different from all the versions listed above or listed below?

You didn’t fall in love with your significant other because it was an accurate choice you made, you fell in love with him because suddenly meeting him, and he was the only thing that made sense in your life. You didn’t fall in love with your significant other simply because he had a conversation with you, you fell in love with him because he listened when you spoke, even to the things you weren’t saying. You didn’t fall in love with your significant other because he spent the time with you, you fell in love with him because he didn’t have enough time, but he found time to see you or at least to glance at you. You didn’t fall in love with your significant other simply because he answered a text message, you fell in love with him because he was the one texting first. You didn’t fall in love with your significant other because he was easy to get to, you fell in love with him because he was a challenge and complicated and something you wanted to know and figure out. You didn’t fall in love with your significant other because you just liked him being around you, you fell in love with him because when he was, you were more delicate, more gorgeous, and more glowing than you had ever been. You didn’t fall in love with your significant other because he was handsome, gorgeous, and stylish, you fell in love with him because of what was on the inside. You didn’t fall in love with your significant other because of the way you felt, you fell in love with him because he respected all your feelings. You didn’t fall in love with your significant other because he complimented you, you fell in love with him because he noticed when you got a haircut or changed something little. You didn’t fall in love with your significant other because he tried to change you, you fell in love with him because he accepted the authentic version of you and made you the perfect version of yourself. You didn’t fall in love with your significant other because you were perfect, you fell in love with him because he accepted you at your worst when you weren’t. You didn’t fall in love with your significant other because you have been hurt, you fell in love with him because he didn’t want to be just another person to break your heart. You didn’t fall in love with your significant other because he was strong, you fell in love with him because he let you in during vulnerable moments he wasn’t. You didn’t fall in love with your significant other because he supported you when you had success, you fell in love with him because he comforted you and helped pick you up every time you fell. You didn’t fall in love with your significant other because he stayed, you fell in love with him because every time you tried to push him away he pulled you closer. There are many probable versions of the ‘why did you fall in love with your significant other’– scenario and your task is to recollect in your mind your scenario in the utmost details. 

32. Was there something special you loved the most in your significant other?

Your beloved is someone who doesn’t just deal with you. He is someone who watches you out of the corner of his eye and you feel your face get a little red. He is someone who texts you good morning because you are the first thing on his mind. He is someone who takes the time to tell you why he loves you. He is someone who kisses you like he means it every time. He is someone who stops to get you your favorite flowers because it’s just a random weekday and he was thinking about you. He is someone who sets up surprises that revolve around your interests – because he remembers what you like and wants you to feel special. He is someone who makes you feel confident, leaving the house without a makeup on. He is someone who drives with one hand on the wheel because he is busy holding your hand with the other. He is someone who passionately kisses you as soon as you see him, whether you were out for an hour or haven’t seen him for several days. He is someone who steers the conversation in a new direction when someone asks you a question that he knows you’re uncomfortable with. He is someone who can tell when you’re getting upset in public and will find an excuse to leave with you because they know you’d be embarrassed to cry in public. He is someone who knows exactly what to say to make you feel better, but also knows when to hug you in silence. He is someone who can tell when you’re in tears, even if you’ve only been texting and haven’t dropped any hints about being upset. He is someone who can tell you’re crying by the hitch in your voice, even if you’re facing away from him. He is someone who he thinks you look absolutely gorgeous even in the moments when you are holding back tears. He is someone who always considers your emotions like they are valid. He is someone who will drop everything if you call him up in tears because your comfort is more important to him than finishing his affairs or getting a good night’s rest. He is someone who listens to you for hours, even if your words are indecipherable through your sobs. He is someone who comforts you in the moments when you do want to scream all the hurt out and you don’t have to pretend that everything is wonderful. He is someone in whose presence you can burst into tears without any shame or embarrassment. He is someone who will let you use his shirt’s sleeves to wipe away the tears when there aren’t any tissues within reach. He is someone who makes you laugh while tears are streaming like an unbroken flow down your face. He is someone who kisses you while you’re crying – on your forehead, on your cheeks, and on your lips. He is someone who always apologizes for arguments because he hates being the reason behind your tears. He is someone who sits up with you all night long, even if he is exhausted because he doesn’t want you to cry yourself to sleep. He is someone who can’t fall asleep until you’re snuggled against him in his arms. He is someone who pulls you closer when you are tossing and turning at night. There are many probable versions of the ‘was there something special you loved the most in your significant other’– scenario and the task is to recollect in your mind your scenario in the utmost details. 

33. Did you feel like you and your significant other had an authentic connection from the very beginning?

34. Did you feel like you and your significant other could have become something special?

35. Did the love make your heart and breathe stop?

36. Did the love take your breath away and keep you up at night?

37. Did you have flirtatious conversations with each other?

38. Did such conversations ignite your passion and sympathy?

39. Did get lost in your conversations, and the hours pass like minutes?

40. Did you feel that most of your conversations were wrapped with something warm, something indescribable, and something undefinable?

41. Can you say that you made yourself vulnerable to your significant other through the conversations?

42. Can you say that your conversations were a source of an endless blend of inspiration, delicacy, delight, passion, confusion, embarrassment, nervousness, intimidation, pain, euphoria?

43. Can you say that your conversations were followed by the affected judgment, lightheadedness, tearful eyes, chest pains, and increased need to be with your significant other?

44. Can you say that your conversations inspired blending of unrelated feelings that, once synthesized, created a sparkling emotion?

45. Can you say that love kept you guessing in the most exciting ways and pushed you to be the best version of yourself, to be the most delicate, beautiful, and sympathetic, to be someone who you both were proud of?

46. Can you say that love kept your significant other guessing in the most exciting ways and pushed him to be the best version of himself, to be the most delicate, handsome, and sympathetic, to be someone who you both were proud of?

47. Can you say that love warmed your heart and your soul and turned you into a person who you never thought you would be, a person who loved the idea of how in love they are?

48. Can you say that your significant other’s eyes were glittering every time he glanced furtively at you?

49. Can you say that your eyes were glowing every time you glanced furtively at your significant other?

50. Can you say that you felt that anything other than the “perfect” completely was utterly irrelevant at that moment when you glimpsed at your significant other?

51. Can you say that your significant other felt that anything other than the “perfect” completely was utterly irrelevant at that moment when he glimpsed at you?

52. Can you say that the love you felt didn’t ignite your thoughts of panic, of uncertainty, or questions?

53. Can you say that the love your significant other felt didn’t ignite his thoughts of panic, of uncertainty, or questions?

54. Can you say that the love you felt made you see things in a tint of rose and be unapologetically happy?

55. Can you say that the love your significant other felt made him see things in a tint of rose and be unapologetically happy?

56. Can you say that the love you felt made everything you have gone through before felt so distant, so glimmering, so irrelevant, so unimportant, like a remembrance you can barely recall in your mind, and you even can ignore or neglect it completely?

57. Can you say that the love you felt made everything different from everything you have ever known before?

58. Can you say that the love you felt changed everything you have ever known and experienced before?

59. Can you say that the love you felt made you a new person?

60. Can you say that the love you felt took everything you thought you knew and flipped it upside–down?

61. Can you say that the love you felt that disrupted your self–control and made you realize that the real love, the true love, the meaningful love is unlike anything you have ever thought or imagined you would see in this lifetime?

62. Can you say that you both were glowing, glittering and sparkling with emotions?

63. Can you say that your significant other accepted the affection you gave him as a gift?

64. Can you say that your significant other reciprocated your feelings of deep affection?

65. Can you say that you accepted the affection significant other gave you as a gift?

66. Can you say that you reciprocated his feelings of deep affection?

67. Can you say that sometimes you understood your significant other without words (nonverbal communication)?

68. Can you say that you felt something like ‘a soul’s whisper’ when you thought about your significant other?

69. Can you say that you felt as your thoughts were ‘revealed’ by your significant other and you had everything you had envisioned in your mind in the reality, and it was really intimidating and utterly gorgeous?

70. Can you say that the love you felt changed everything you ever thought you knew about love before?

71. Can you say that the love you felt made you painfully aware that everything you have ever considered about love before was misinformed? Or cynical? Or just wrong?

72. Can say that the love you felt was the most delicate version of love you have ever felt and it was in the very beginning as ‘the love that waked you up in the morning, not because you were wondering whether or not he had texted you back, but because your consciousness wouldn’t let you fall asleep again knowing he was there to start the day with?

73. Can say that this version of love made you rethink about your life before you had this incredible person in it?

74. Can say that this version of love made you wonder why you ever wasted your time with anyone else who didn’t give you the love that you deserve?

75. Can say that this version of love made you rethought how your happiness wasn’t nearly as happy back then?

76. Can you say that this version of love learned you to compare your life with and without your significant other, and the ‘without part’ seems so glimmer, so incomplete, so diluted?

77. Can you say that this version of love represented you that everything was so ephemeral when you envisioned your life without your significant other, even those things which have been always your priorities, or everything you have ever considered so valuable?

78. Can you say that this version of love changed your feelings as your emptiness slowly disappeared and you started to feel less empty like you became come ‘completed’ as ‘your significant other completed you’?

79. Can you say that this version of love made all the uncertainties you have ever had finally felt transparently answered?

80. Can you say that this version of love was the utmost beautiful from the very beginning, and you felt that your significant other was the person who loved you with intense passion and deep respect?

81. Can you say that this version of love was the unconditional love, and the words, whispered by your significant other that you have heard before, were twisting themselves in your mind having kept you up at night?

82. Can you say that this version of love was the utmost cordial and it brought you an absolute delight at a small gesture, an intriguing smile, a simple touch?

83. Can you say that this version of love was the utmost passion and you loved to hold onto a hug for just a moment too long without uttering a single word?

84. Can you say that this version of love was the utmost intensity, and it made you do anything and sacrifice for what would be better in the end?

85. Has the love taken your breath away just by thinking about your significant other?

86. Has the love taken his breath away just by thinking about you?

87. Has the love changed your priorities and preferences?

88. Has the love changed the priorities and preferences of your significant other?

89. Have you ever neglected your feelings?

90. Has your significant other ever felt your negligence of his feelings from your side?

91. What have you promised your significant other?

92. What has your significant other promised you?

93. Have you followed through on those promises, you kept your word?

94. Has your significant other followed through on those promises, he kept his word?

95. Have you done more than you promised your significant other?

96. Has your significant other done more than he promised you?

97. Have you ever felt embarrassed and lost in the presence of your significant other? What has happened then?

98. Has your significant other ever felt confused, embarrassed and lost in your presence? What has happened then?

What is the essence of love?

Passion is the desire to hug the body. Love is the desire for the soul. Love is the unconditional affection with no limits, no criteria, and no standards. Completely loving someone means to make this person the priority in your life. When you fall in love with someone, you first fall in love with them, and then, love what they possess. You fall in love with someone’s soul. You fall in love with their passions and their flaws. Love overwhelms you completely.

Love is subtle and silent and delicate, and in its beginning, it can be drowned out easily by attachment, intrigue, and fear. Love is not simple. It is complex. It is gorgeous. It is inspiring. It is embarrassing. It is intimidating. It is intriguing. It is charming. It is cordial. It is charmingly cordial. It is multitudes of emotions and moments, glowing time [not only metaphorically but also a glowing time when you both have the glowing glances and sparkling emotions you express verbally] and stolen glances. It overwhelms you with emotions. It overwhelms you with It is the text messages, the phone calls, the single moments when you are sitting near each other, the single moments when you hold on the private conversation, the single moments when you try to hide your smile or glittering eyes and fail, the single moments when you can’t breathe because of inspiration, and the single moments you envision all versions of the future scenarios with your significant other.

Love is in simple touches — fingers grazing on someone’s wrist just a little too long, lips whispering delicate words with special intonation just a little too delicately, gorgeous eyes penetrating through someone’s soul just a little too deep. Love is unfolding the delicacy off all your feelings you have never experienced before. Love is revealing all the tension, intimidation, and passion. Love may be so strong, so delicate, so wonderful that sometimes it will be even hard to breathe. It is glimmering. It is glittering. It is glowing. It is sparkling. Love has many versions and many kinds. But true, glowing love has no dual values. It is the kind of love that communicates, the kind of love that doesn’t leave messages ignored or questions unanswered. It is the kind of love that tries to understand the differences and solve the problems. The kind of love that doesn’t know how to give up. It is the kind of love that waits, the kind of love that doesn’t get tempted easily, the kind of love that doesn’t change overnight. It is the kind of love that reassures, the kind of love that doesn’t break promises, the kind of love that doesn’t break hearts. It is the kind of love your significant other opened your eyes to. It is the kind of love that heals all the hurt. It is the kind of love that shows that there no another significant other like yours. It is the kind of love that explicates that it is impossible to find another version of your significant other. It is the kind of love that declares that there is no one who knows how to love except your beloved.

Love is indescribable. There is no identical kind of love. All kinds of love are authentic. All kinds of love are unique. All kinds of love are unsurpassable. All kinds of love are emotional. All kinds of love are delicate. All kinds of love are shown differently. There are no identical versions of love. There are no similar ways to express love. Love doesn’t always need language, nor word, nor glance, nor smile, nor touch, nor even time. Love is a vulnerability. Love is timing. But there are no timing criteria for love as it may be the all–at–once type of love, the slowly–falling type of love, and the intense type of love. Love doesn’t wait, it just happens. With the love, you feel complete. Without love, you feel absolutely lost. There is no law of conservation of love. Love can be created, and love can be destroyed.

Defining love is impossible. Nothing is misidentified more often than love. But if it hurts, it’s not love. The truth about love is that someone can love you very much and still be negligent or hurtful. Love is not something charming, something that protects you from anxiety, despair, or frustration because sometimes love causes it, and sometimes the love is an anxiety, a despair, or a frustration. Yes, love can be cordial and delicate, but it can be not an absolute of above–mentioned things, on the contrary, sometimes cordiality and delicacy of the love came after hurtful words, withering glances, and hidden smiles. Sometimes love is veiled behind ignorance, negligence, or even hatred. Sometimes love is so cordial that it is impossible to hide it even if something wrong, something hurtful, or something intimidating has been verbally explicated. Because sometimes the person who loves you feels anxiety. Because sometimes the person who loves you feels embarrassment. Because sometimes the person who loves you feels intimidation. Because sometimes the person who loves you feels frustration. Because sometimes the person who loves you feels numbness. Because he supposes that his vision, his priorities, his preferences, his desires, his wishes are not those you would follow. Because he believes that all the problems he has should be solved without being noticed by you. Because he tries hard to be the best version of himself. And soon you will notice that. Just give your significant other more time. The time changes everything. The time create miracles. just some time.

What is the love? 

First, it is being totally Confused. Embarrassed. Indignant. Intimidated. Numb. Lost. First, Love confuses you. It embarrasses you. It interferes with your plans. It cancels something essential for you. It intervenes something valuable for you. It makes you breathless and numb. It makes you nervous. It makes you shocked. It makes you inspired. It makes your eyes languorous and glittering. It makes your smile curling up even if you want to hide it. It makes your hands trembling. It makes you glow from inside. It makes all your gestures gorgeous. It makes your breath hard. It makes your thoughts twisted up. It makes your remembrances fade. It makes you understand those glances, which haven’t been glimpsed yet. It makes you understand those words, which haven’t been uttered yet. It makes you understand those gestures, which haven’t been demonstrated yet. It makes you understand those smiles, that haven’t been curled yet. It makes you understand those thoughts, which haven’t been verbilized yet. It makes you understand those words, which are hidden in the soul through the flirtatious glance, through the intriguing smile, through a deep breath, through the delicate touch, through the single whispered word.

Love has no timing. It just happens. It may hug you everywhere. When you are strolling down the streets. When you are wandering around. When you are waiting for somebody. When you are waiting for something. When you are staying on the stairs. When you are sitting on the tuffet. When you are in the conversation. When you are disputing with somebody. When you are shouting. When you are bursting into tears. When you are smiling. When you are ordering a cup of almond cappuccino in your favorite cafeteria. When you are glimpsing around there and noticing that there are many people of different ages sitting, holding the conversations, glancing, smiling, turning around, coming and leaving. When you are glancing around more accurately. When you are noticing the lovely couple in their middle sixties, middle–aged lady with a gorgeous smile, handsome thirty–something man, charming curly–haired girl with languorous dark eyes, young beautiful lady glancing at her stylish wristwatch probably is waiting for somebody there. When you are glance furtively into somebody’s eyes. When you are noticing those glowing eyes, which are caught by the wristwatch or iPhone’s clocks. When you are noticing somebody’s emotions. When you are you are noticing somebody, who glances with confusion in the eyes, and judgment on the face. When you are noticing somebody’s wistful glance. When you are noticing somebody, whose glance is so gorgeous. When you are noticing somebody’s forced smile. When you are noticing somebody, whose smile is so wonderful. When you are hearing somebody’s whisper, that is so soothing. When you are hearing somebody’s voice, which is so confident, and so beautiful. When you are listening to somebody’s words which are pronounced so delicately.

When you are running away from your feelings, from your intentions, from your wishes, from the beauty, and from the harmony of what could be. When you are running away from the likelihood of finding the one love you have been looking for. When you are running away from the delicate touch that softened your heart again, from the beautiful smile that made you forget your pain, from the charming voice that resounded in your soul with a special glow, from the gorgeous eyes that got you lost in another world. When you are running away from something insanely fascinating. When you are running away from wonder. When you are running away not only from yourself metaphorically, but also running away from the reality. Run away, down the streets, but let those eyes to follow you also, find the place you have never been in to spend an hour sitting there and conversing. Run away, but let that touch to follow you. Run away but let that voice and smile to follow you.

When you are walking away from somebody. When you are staying trapped in your loneliness. When you are walking far away from what you truly want today. When you are walking far alone from your pre–schedule accurately designed the previous evening. When you are walking away from your passion, intimacy, and affection. When you are walking away from hands that hold you at your worst and hands that passionately embrace you when you are confused, embarrassed, frustrated or exhausted. When you are walking away from ears that will listen to all your doubts, all your fears and all your failures, and that gorgeous eyes that will always see the wonderfulness in your soul. When you are fading away and disappearing into the air flows. When you are disappearing into the air flows of the reality. When you are slowly fading away till you are invisible. When you are fading away, so no one caught a glimpse of who you really are. When you are fading away, so no one can glance at you admiringly. When you are fading away, till you are no longer whole again. Love can hug you any moment and anywhere.

Love is something that adorns every single day. Love is something that turns all the glimmering days into glittering days. The days which begin with the gorgeous sunshine, spring notes of the delicate scents, and the trust based on the intriguing conversations. Love is something that concentrates your attention on the fragrances and scents in the air flows around you, the sounds around you, the whispers around you, the bouquets of pastel–coloured flowers around you, the smiles and voices around you, the gestures around you, the ballet performance on the stage near you, the fingertips and the wrists around you. Love is something that allows that gorgeous eyes, wonderful voice, and intriguing smile to follow you. Love is something that creates the strong emotional connection. Love is something that prevents emotional abuse. Love is something that makes you understand the other soul without the words. Love is something that makes you understand the other soul through listening to the breath. Love is something that makes you understand the other soul through listening to the voice tone. Love is something that makes you understand the other soul through glancing at the eyes. Love is something that makes you understand the other soul through touching only the fingertips. Love is something that makes you understand the other soul through holding only the wrists. Love is something that makes you understand the other soul through cuddling up to the shoulders. Love is something that makes you understand the other soul through envisioning that eyes. Love is something that makes you understand the other soul through envisioning that smile. Love is something that makes you understand the other soul through envisioning that voice. Love is something that makes you understand the other soul through envisioning that gestures. Love is something that turns your reality into something miraculous for hours, the blend of emotions, words, actions, fragrances, scents, beauty, music, sounds. Love is something that changes your reality. Love is something that creates the inverted reality.

Sometimes love may be hidden behind anger. Love may be hidden behind capriciousness. Love may be hidden behind frustration. Love may be hidden behind indignation. Love may be hidden behind irritation. Love may be hidden behind ignorance. Love may be hidden behind negligence. Sometimes the days which begin with the gorgeous sunshine, spring notes of the delicate scents, and the trust based on the intriguing conversations, everything that makes the dazzling spring luxury so cordial, and so beautiful, hide something hideous. Something that shouldn’t be yours. Something that presents only the awful collisions, confusion, embarrassment, frustration, grief, – all that had to disappear from your life, enters it again. Sometimes love comes in your life in the moment when everything is collapsed and disrupted, or even there is nothing you can change to make your situation better. Everything around you glitters, glows, and sparkles, but for you, everything is faded because you lost something extremely essential for you. And sometimes that loss was necessary to happen, or the worst situation was necessary to occur to alter everything and to bring into your life the love and after that the inspiration. Sometimes love comes after the deepest embarrassment, the deepest frustration, the deepest grief. Sometimes the love comes after the betrayal, sometimes the love comes after you lost the hope.

Sometimes the love comes, and you cannot recognize it. It likes to show up when you least expect it and when you really aren’t ready for it. Love is intense and passionate. Love has insecurities and problems. Love makes mistakes. Love also has its own brokenness. Love has multiple versions, but every version is unique. Every version is authentic. Every version is unforgettable. Every version has its charming beauty. Every version has its cordiality. Every version has its diplomacy. Every version has its sympathy. It’s being so extremely nervous every time you are about to see your significant other. It’s looking at your phone waiting for him to text you that he is waiting for you outside, making two minutes feel like two hours. It’s being so emotionally overwhelmed that all the problems you have thought difficult to solve, disappear from your mind. Everything around you sparkles so brightly, everything you feel is so intense, everything you glance at is so gorgeous.

What is love? What is not love?

Love isn’t compromising your self–respect. Love doesn’t pull you close just to push you away. Love doesn’t use you. Love doesn’t ignore you. Love doesn’t neglect you. Love itself is born in trust and dies without it. There can be trust without love, but there can’t be love without trust. Love is noticing the invisible and implicit things and complimenting them. Love is not someone pushing you past your limits; love is someone looking into your eyes and letting you know without uttering a single word through the glittering eyes that he loves you. Love is neither abusive nor emotionally abusive. Love doesn’t hurt. If it hurts, it’s something else. Confusion. Embarrassment. Intimidation. Fear. Attachment. Worship. Addiction. Possessiveness. But it does not love.

99. How can you describe your love?

100. How can you describe the way you love your significant other?

101. How can you describe the love of your significant other?

102. How can you describe the way you are loved by your significant other?

103. Is there something deep and emotional in your love?

104. Is there something deep and emotional in his love?

105. Are there any moments you can describe as the absolute understanding of each other?

106. Are there any moments of the utmost harmony and delight?

107. Are there any moments of confusion and embarrassment?

108. Are there any moments of nervous tension and misunderstanding?

109. Are there any moments of frustration and despair?

110. Are there any moments you can describe the love as ‘abusive love’?

3. Emotional misunderstanding. Cognitive misunderstanding. Logical misunderstanding. Misunderstanding of behavioral patterns. Confusion. Embarrassment. Nervous tension. Conflicts. Arguments. Frustration. Is there a way through the situation? What can be changed in such situations? 

An ideal relationship is something more than beautiful, something more charming, something more than intriguing, something more than simple, something more than overwhelming. Because the ideal relationship is complicated. The ideal relationship is utterly complicated. It is more than adoration. It is more than desire. It is more than passion. It is more than a glance. It is more than a glimpse. It is more than a smile. It is more than a whispered word. It is more than a gesture. It is more than a touch. It is more than a wrist–hold.

The ideal relationship is everything done with the utmost cordiality. The ideal relationship is everything done with the utmost delicacy. The ideal relationship is everything done with the utmost sympathy. The ideal relationship is everything done with the utmost respect. everything has a special deep meaning. 

Glance is furtive but utmost deep as it penetrates through your soul. Glance is fleeting but utmost wistful as it ‘desires’ to ‘scream’ the sorrow. Glance is withering but utmost delicate as it ‘wants’ to ‘shout’ the indignation. Languorous dark eyes are glittering in the utmost flirtatious way as they ‘communicate’ with you secretly. The charming smile is utmost intriguing as it ‘wants’ to ‘show’ there is something else. Words are chosen accurately and whispered in the utmost sparkling delicate tone. Gestures are utmost gorgeous. Touch is utmost sensitive. Wrist–holdings are utterly cordial. Everything has a definite deep feeling. Everything has a special emphases. Everything has a special charm. Things are done exclusively because they appear sophisticated and impressive. Everything is done according to the personal preferences. Everything is done with the utmost attention.

Emotional misunderstanding. Cognitive misunderstanding. Logical misunderstanding.

Misunderstanding always causes abuse. The Emotional misunderstanding causes emotional abuse. The Cognitive misunderstanding causes psychological abuse. The Logical misunderstanding causes physical abuse. Sometimes it is impossible to show [to represent/to demonstrate] or to interpret [cognitively/in your mind] correctly these nonverbal indicators of cordiality. Everything is interpreted in the wrong way. Your sparkling emotions are interpreted and understood [cognitively] as show off. The glittering emotions of your significant other are interpreted and understood [cognitively] as an utter contempt. Your gorgeous glance is interpreted and understood [cognitively] as a withering glance. Your significant other’s glance is interpreted and understood [cognitively] as an indignant glance. Your glimmering smile is interpreted and understood [cognitively] as a supercilious smile. Your significant other’s smile is interpreted and understood [cognitively] as a sardonic smile. Every touch is interpreted and understood [cognitively] as a heavy touch. Every wrist–holding is interpreted and understood [cognitively] as a painful grasp. Furthermore, nonverbal indicators change the understanding of verbal skills. Exquisite verbal skills are interpreted and understood as those to use that to the advantage. Every whispered word brings emotional abuse. Every whispered word in one more voice’s tone is interpreted and understood as an insult. Every wrist–holding is understood as a physical abuse and may result in the visible bruises on the wrists.

Wondering why you misunderstand your significant other and why you are misunderstood? You have your criteria exclusion and inclusion criteria for your priorities and preferences when it comes to what you love and what you don’t love. Your significant other has his own criteria exclusion and inclusion criteria for HIS priorities and preferences when it comes to what he loves and what he doesn’t love. Similarly, you also have your priorities and preferences when it comes to how you represent [show], give and receive love. Your significant other has his priorities and preferences when it comes to how you represent [show], give and receive love. There are certain things you do to express your love to your significant other and certain ways you would like him to express his love to you. There are certain things your significant other does to express his love to you and certain ways he would like you to express your love to him. And these certain things may be absolutely  different. It is the unique phenomenon if you and your significant other represent, give and receive the version of love you both prefer. Because you expect to receive that same kind of love you represent and give back. And your significant other expects to receive that same kind of love he represents and gives back.

This becomes a major problem because you are so busy loving your significant other the way you want to be loved [your ‘branded’ version of love, for instance, you represent and give the style of love which is utmost delicate and utmost cordial, you don’t love to show your love in the presence of the others, you don’t love your wrist to be grasped passionately in the presence of the others, or you don’t love to discuss something about the love in the presence of the others], – and your significant other is loving you the way he wants to be loved [his ‘branded’ version of love, he represents and gives the style of love which is utmost flirtatious and utmost passionate, he loves to show you his love in the presence of the others, he loves the flirtatious conversations with you in the presence of the others, he loves to grasp your wrist passionately in the presence of the others, he loves ‘eyes–to eyes’ contact in the presence of the others, he loves the discussions about the love in the presence of the others] – and so no one feels loved the way they truly want and need. Instead of it, you are both ashamed of each other. And something embarrassing interferes with your love. 

Misunderstanding starts with nonverbal or verbal hurt or both from nonverbal and verbal hurt. Wondering why does it happen? You may consider your relationship glowing, gorgeous, intriguing, passionate. But it doesn’t always feel that way. And the trouble is in the cognitive interpretation of the emotions. Emotions are constantly interacting with the cognition. Cognition is constantly interacting with the reality. Reality is constantly interacting with the emotions. Everything depends on the accuracy of the cognitive interpretation of the emotions. If you are anxious, ashamed, confused, embarrassed, or frustrated, how can you interpret correctly your emotions? If you are anxious, ashamed, confused, embarrassed, or frustrated, you are interpreting the emotions through the anxiety’s paradigm, shame’s paradigm, confusion’s paradigm, embarrassment paradigm, etc. Then, everything is interpreted with the utmost glowing emotional blend. Anxiety is blended emotions of fear, self–contempt, self–shame, self–worthlessness. This anxious emotional blend closes up your hands and not metaphorically but physically and creates one single thought in your mind that everything is disrupted because of you. Anxious emotional blend sardonically laughs at you screaming loudly: ‘Hey, you, you are alone, your beloved is going to leave you, no one wants to be with you, no one wants to hold your hand and wipe your tears, no one wants to whisper a single word that it would have been ever altered’. On the psychological level, anxious emotional blend makes you numb. Your emotions are turned up to the maximum and we feel on edge and slightly terrified. It’s wanting to scream loudly, but also not wanting to utter a single word. It’s having no idea why you feel this way, but also knowing exactly why. It’s feeling like you have so much potential, yet I will never make it. It’s taking tiny gasps of air, wondering if this is how everyone breathes. Suffering from anxiety means that your ability to understand others is unsurpassable. Because you have not only vivid visual remembrances and conceptualized words you have heard, or you have uttered, associated with every person – you have a warm or cold feeling – unique emotional spectrum for every person you have ever met in your life, including just exchanging the glances. Suffering from anxiety means that you watch everything so closely. Suffering from anxiety means that you will notice every single glance. Suffering from anxiety means that you will notice if you’ve said something to make someone uncomfortable. Suffering from anxiety means that you will notice the slightest facial expression change. Or a change in tone. Suffering from anxiety means that you will notice if something changes even a little. When it comes to relationships you can just feel when something is about to change. You can feel when your connection with your beloved is different than it was. You can feel that the person is pulling away even if the person hasn’t done it yet. You can feel conversations changing. And while part of you wants to cling and hang on you know the inevitable is letting go. If someone or your beloved leaves, you dwell in the past wondering when that shift occurred: ‘Was it something I said?’, ‘Was it something I did?’, ‘How can I fix it?’, ‘Is it too late?’. On the physiological level, anxious emotional blend makes you breathless. You are struggling for every single breath, which hurts you, ever come close to drowning and quite suddenly unable to breathe, or focus, or trust that your breathing will be okay. When you are experiencing anxiety, or when you suddenly have a panic attack, you get into a hyper–sense state where suddenly everything becomes very loud and very bright to you. You literally have a nervous breakdown. 

Anxious emotional blend is given as the example. Emotional and cognitive misunderstanding can create the multiple variations of the other emotional blends and their versions by mixing anxiety, shame, confusion, embarrassment, frustration, intense guilt, profound sadness, self–contempt, and self–worthlessness, etc. And all these variations intensify your interpretation. When you are suffering anxiety, you may grasp the wrist of your significant other so tight that he would have the bruises. When your significant other is angry or irritated, he can grasp your shoulders so tightly that you would have the bruises. Or he can hug you so tightly that you would be nearly breathless.

Being a woman means being overemotional most of the times. Accept and embrace this fact wholeheartedly. Instead of reacting to your interpretations of the glances, smiles, gestures, words, actions, you should embrace the fact that your interpretation may be not always correct. You should interpret everything in three dimensions: the first dimension should be yours, the second dimension should be represented from envisioning the situation ‘through the eyes of your significant other’, and the third dimension should represent the blended interpretation from your and his positions. Three–dimensional interpretation must be your imperative for understanding the whole situation.

investigate how the people you love truly feel loved and express love. You may be surprised at how there are super simple things you could do that will fill their love tank. It’s equally important to learn how they give love because they may be doing things to express their love for you that you may be missing since you are only looking for love in the form you give it!!! Asking anyone you love these simple questions will totally up level your connection with them:

111. How do you feel loved by your significant other?

112. What are the things he does that make you feel loved?

113. What are the things he says that make you feel loved?

114. Can you say that you accepted the affection significant other gave you as a gift?

115. What are your priorities and preferences for the ways of the love representation?

116. What are the things he does that make you feel not loved but ashamed?

117. What are the things he says that make you feel not loved but ashamed?

118. What would you like to be different in the way he represents [shows] you his love and gives you his love?

119. What kind of things do you feel most inspired your significant other should do or say?

120. What are the things you do that make your significant other feel loved?

121. What are the things you say that make your significant other feel loved?

122. Can you say that your significant other accepted the affection you gave him as a gift?

123. What are his priorities and preferences for the ways of the love representation?

124. What are the things you do that make your significant other feel not loved but ashamed?

125. What are the things you say that make your significant other feel not loved but ashamed?

126. What would he like to be different in the way you represent [show] your love and give him your love?

Ask your significant other the following questions to analyze and compare your versions of understanding his position, priorities, and preferences when the love is discussed.

127. How do you feel loved by me?

128. What are the things I do that make you feel loved?

129. What are the things I say?

130. Is there anything you would like from me that would reassure you and make you feel even more loved by me?

131. What are your favorite ways to express your love to me?

132. What kind of things do you feel most inspired to do or say?

The present situation you are involved in.

133. Were you convinced that he was the one? Or was there a doubt in your mind about it?

134. Do you throw a brief temper tantrum at the thought of losing your significant other?

135. Does your significant other throw a brief temper tantrum at the thought of losing you?

136. Can you say that you gave all your effort, all your attention, and all your heart or you only gave your significant other half of your effort, half of your attention, and half of your heart?

137. Can you say that he gave you all his effort, all his attention, and all his heart or he only gave you half of his effort, half of his attention, and half of his heart?

138. Can you shape the very first time you had the misunderstanding? What was it?

139. Was there any complicacy for your relationship? Which exactly? Was there the most intimidating complicacy? Why did you think that that complicacy was the most intimidating for you? Which undesirable consequences did that complicacy entail? Were there any other undesirable consequences? What had happened?

140. Did you have the arguments with your significant other? Did you have emotional arguments or fact–based arguments? What had caused those arguments? Can you recollect in your mind the exact reasons? Did you critique the argument or your significant other? Did you avoid absolutes?

141. Have you ever stayed neutral during the argument because you felt strong indifference, or you wanted to ignore the argument?

142. Has your significant other ever stayed neutral during the argument because he felt strong indifference, or he wanted to ignore the argument, or he wanted to neglect all your words he had heard?

143. Has your significant other ever done unspeakable things that your standards should never have allowed? What was your emotional reaction in every single case? Even after everything that happened, after everything that you have done, have you still wanted to forgive your loved one again?

144. Every time after the argument did you want to go back to the way things were before? Did you want to forget all the insulting commentaries your significant other had told you? Did you want to start your relationship with ‘the new page’?

145. Did you give him a second chance after that? And a third? A fourth? A fifth?

146. Did you forgive him whenever he apologized?

147. Did you forgive him when he didn’t bother to apologize?

148. Did you pretend and act like nothing ever happened?

149. How did you feel yourself when you had to pretend like nothing ever happened? Emotionally neutral? Ashamed? Anxious? Humiliated? Numb and lost?

150. Can you say that in the past you used to think that your loved one was capable of changing, but he was never going to act any differently? Can you say that your loved one kept repeating the same mistakes he had sworn you he would stop making? Can you say that your loved one made promises and failed to keep them? Can you say that your loved one hurt you again and again and again after such promises?

151. Can you say that at present you cannot forgive absolutely all insulting remarks, comments, or words because you cannot do it anymore? Can you say that you can’t handle another confusion, another embarrassment, another frustration — and giving your loved one another chance because you are sure that it would lead to another disappointment, and there is no question about it?

152. Can you say at present that you feel the deepest confusion, the deepest embarrassment, the deepest frustration, and the deepest sorrow? Can you say that your love is nearly ephemeral, and the relationship is nearly ended, so you are finally done? Can you say that you loved your significant other so cordially and so delicately that you have forgiven him more than one hundred times the emotional abuse but now it is impossible to forgive the last one? Can you say that it means he did something unforgivable? Can you say that it means he crossed an invisible line? Can you say that it means he hurt you too many times?

Even the worst moments in the relationship can be changed. Even the relationship which is nearly ‘FADED’ can glow again. The question is: ‘Do you want to continue this relationship?’ or you have changed, your significant other has changed, and everything has changed co much that there is no future for this relationship at all. And you should distinguish these two extremes in the utmost accurate way. Ask yourself a question: ‘Do you think love is something you have to earn?’ Clearly, the answer is ‘No’. Love should be represented in the utmost delicate style after that ‘wrapped’ in the utmost wonderful envelope and given in the utmost cordial way. Without rules or expectations. Without guilt. Without trying too hard. You shouldn’t try really hard to prove that you deserve the respect and love. You shouldn’t try to keep your relationship ‘GLOW’ if you are loved one moment then scream at the next moment, and then you were utmost intimidated because you were emotionally abused. You shouldn’t validate your self–worth all the time. Your feelings shouldn’t be validated only in moments your significant loved you. Your feelings should be respected every single moment you are in the relationship. You shouldn’t feel that the love can be taken away at any moment. Because love isn’t saying sorry after you get yelled at. Love isn’t derived from fear and power. Love comes bearing no threats. Love and control don’t go together. Love does not critic you just, so they feel better about their own flaws. Love does not blame you for their actions or outburst. Love does not blame you for everything. When you think that the love is something you have to earn it’s often an emotional abuse. Do not feel guilty for a recurring theme of what might have been bad relationships in your past. Understand sometimes the things we learn aren’t right. But we can use that to learn what is. Recognize the pattern and learn to change it. Because you can change it.

Try to recollect in your mind all the remembrances which you associate with the timeline of falling in love. Did you fall in love at a glimpse or did it take the time for you to fall in love with your significant other? Or, maybe, did you fall in love with your significant other gradually—falling for the little things? Like the way your loved one laughed mid–kiss sometimes and glanced at you furtively like you can’t believe what is happening. Or the way your significant other reached over you in his still sleep–fogged state and pulled you close to him as if he could not keep you close enough. Or simply the way your loved one glanced at you when you both laughed; because laughing with him was your favorite. It was like looking directly into his soul and seeing how truly vulnerable he can be; laughing with you yet hoping that nothing could break his heart. He was looking directly into your soul and seeing how truly vulnerable you can be; laughing with him yet hoping that nothing could break your heart. But what he didn’t know is that you could never break his heart, because it was the most beautiful thing about your loved one. And you secretly hoped that he could never break your heart because he thought that it was the most wonderful thing about you your significant other loved so passionately.

Have you ever asked your significant other about top things which cause confusion, embarrassment, indignation [irritation], or frustration? If you have done that, did you compare these things to those in your listing? Listing top things which cause the strong emotional exasperation is a way of opening up to reveal your vulnerabilities, and it says a lot of your loved one or about you. It reveals the absolute uniqueness burning brightly in you and your significant other, even if your or his list illuminated that even more. It harmonizes your relationship and makes you both the perfect versions of yourselves. Because you won’t neglect the priorities and preferences of each other. Because you will be emotionally bound to each other. Because you will choose the words before their verbalisation. Because you will listen and hear synchronizing the verbal content with emotional content. Because you will do everything consciously not to disrupt the emotional balance. Because you will respect each other’s feelings.

To understand your style of love and the version of love you would like to receive, including your priorities and preferences for the love representation and the love presentation [how the love should be represented and given to you], it is highly recommended to glance through the work of the Five Love Languages [if you are interested in, please, follow the link to take the free quiz to find out your love language: http://www.5lovelanguages.com], which says there are five ways that we feel love and all of us have one or two that we are most “fluent” in. The five love languages are:

1. Words of Affirmation – Receiving verbal acknowledgment, affirmation, relevance, respect, trust, validation; verbal [spoken] expressions of feelings;

2. Receiving Gifts – Getting physical things from loved ones;

3. Acts of Service – Love is felt when someone does something for us;

4. Affection – Feel most connected with physical touch and adoration;

5. Quality time – Spending uninterrupted, focused time with loved ones.

Then you can send the link to your loved one and ask him to take the quiz as well. Share your results with your loved one and ask he shares his with you. Only through understanding your language of love and your significant other’s language of love your relationship would be cordial, deep and strong. Without mutual understanding and unconditional love, it is impossible to keep your relationship glittering. 

Remember that when love feels harder than it should be, it’s not cordial and sincere love. It’s not the cordial version of love at least because even though the right version of love is complicated, it is also never excruciatingly hard. It doesn’t make you tossing and turning for hours on end, never being able to soothe your own mind, and finally, leave you up all night crying because you don’t know where you stand or if you’re being treated right or if you are the only one. It doesn’t make you question what’s wrong with you. It doesn’t make you want to give up on love and everything that has to do with it. Love heals. It doesn’t destroy. Love doesn’t leave you broken. It makes you complete. Love brings out the best in you, it doesn’t make you angry, anxious, confused, embarrassed, irritated, sorrowful resentful, or vindictive. Love only hurts when it’s wrong. Love shows you a whole new world, a world you never thought you’d live, it doesn’t make your world darker or harder or more painful. Love shows you the glowing light.

2. What can you do to change the situation? Four things you must stop doing now.

1. Stop worrying and stressing about your relationship

Do you know what is the most powerfully toxic emotion in relationships? It is fear. Fear that something was wrong. Fear that something is wrong. Fear that something would be wrong. Fear that everything was wrong. Fear that everything is wrong. Fear that everything would be wrong. And in general, stressing too much over your relationship can irreparably damage it. Or completely break it. 

The little things may cause worrying and stressing — the small, reoccurring moments that unknowingly and secretively add up to something much greater. You are worrying and stressing about your relationship because you of overthinking the future. The future stresses you out. The not knowing. The possibility of failing. All of it. In other words, you give your mind an unconscious permission to destroy the situations before they even happen in the reality. You allow your intentions to be interfered, your plans to be cancelled, your days to be ruined by hypothetical thoughts that aren’t realistic. Instead of letting go and truly being happy with where you are, you are too focused on what you should be doing next. You are constantly analyzing. You are constantly trying to make things happen. You are constantly synchronizing your feelings to the heartbeat of your significant other. You are constantly getting stressed over hypothetical conversations in my mind, or the future plans you cannot shape to your wishes. The love is not a mixture of chaos, concern, and fraught anxiety. If the love in your relationship makes you confused, embarrassed or frustrated, – it is a wrong style of relationship. The relationship should challenge you and help shape you – this should only to be to become a more authentic, happier version of yourself. It should not leave you with bitter thoughts, difficult breathing, tear stains, and feelings of self–doubt and self–worthlessness. The relationship cannot be cordial and warm if you or if you both are fearful. Content from within must happen first. Add more sensation, more delicacy, more cordiality through the glances, smiles, gestures, touches, behavior in your relationship. The future of your relationship is shaped in present. Present blends with past experiences and creates the most probable future scenarios of what may happen. Worrying about what may or may not happen, only distances you further and further from getting what you want. If you do want something to be different tomorrow, then you should start to change it today. You have a limited time to alter something. Stay in the present. Go with the flow, be in the moment, and don’t overthink. Look past imperfection and be less judgmental. Throw away the checklist of your ideal relationship and be in tune with your feelings. Remind your consciousness twisted with thoughts to stop sometimes. To stop analyzing. To stop trying to make things happen. To stop anticipating somebody’s reaction to your glances, your smile, your words, your conversations, or trying to synchronize your feelings. Embrace your worry wholeheartedly. Embrace your emotions wholeheartedly. Embrace your feelings wholeheartedly. Embrace yourself wholeheartedly. Embrace your significant other wholeheartedly.

Embrace the moments your significant other didn’t message you that he would be late today. Embrace that even if the situation makes you overthink the reasons why you weren’t messaged. Your doubts are followed by your irrelevant thoughts. And the following scenario unfolds in your mind: ‘What did I do wrong?’, ‘Was it something I said?’, ‘Was it something I did?’, ‘Has something happened to him?’, ‘Was it [insert your own version here]’. And the whole paradigm of your worrying enlarges spontaneously. You feel emotional exasperation. Confusion. Embarrassment. Your nerves are taut. After that, you feel frustration. Frustration turns into sadness. Sadness turns into anxiety. Anxiety turns into depression. These tiny bouts of sadness that you feel, if not resolved, end up coming back from the dead. They find a way to haunt you when you are in your most vulnerable state.

Why should you embrace the moments your significant other didn’t message you that he would be late today? Because if it had been possible for you to synchronize all events which happen in your timeline and all events which happen in his timeline, you would have glanced at the whole situation from a new dimension. Because your significant other has been really slammed at work and has barely had a minute to come up for air. His iPhone was switched off and was on recharge. In his mind, the relationship is perfect, and he can’t wait the moment when the business discussion about his project will be finished, so he can call you again. He is happily going along doing his things while you are in heartbreak mode, envisioning what could have been and trying to understand where it all went wrong. And just when the anxiety is at its peak – he calls you. You’re relieved, but at the same time, you are still anxious. You cling to the relationship even tighter and more passionate because you remember how miserable it felt when you thought you lost it.

Worrying and stressing about your relationship starts with twisting all your thoughts around irrelevant versions of ‘what–if’–scenario. When you get worried, stressed and anxious, you are no longer interacting with your significant other sitting in front of you, you are interacting with the thoughts in your mind. You fixate on an imagined future and worry about how and if you will get there with him. Instead of worrying or stressing, just be present. Be right here, right now. Form the connection in the present time, because the present time is the only real time aspect you have. There is no past. Leave the past in the past. There is no future. Leave the future events to unfold synchronically with a future time. Everything happens, occurs, unfolds in the present. Without present there is no past. Without present there is no future. Do not neglect the present moment. Stop worrying. It takes you further away from where you want to be. Focus on enjoying every moment of your life instead of questioning where it will lead. Focus on creating the utmost delicate deep relationship. Focus on creating the utmost cordial relationship. Focus on creating the utmost trustworthy relationship. Focus on what you want at present and what you can do to achieve it in the present. If you feel insecure about yourself or the relationship, nothing your significant other says will change that. Don’t get caught up in the illusion of who you think he is, or what being in a relationship with him will represent. When you care too much about the relationship, you inevitably become attached to a certain result you do want to achieve. You invest your mental energy in making sure things go a certain way. Everything starts out without being postponed, you got intrigued about the possibilities you would have, and then you became scared that your imagined future scenarios wouldn’t come to be, then the panic set in, and then you became anxious about everything. From then on, the relationship was no longer cordial. Every interaction and conversation became so complicated and embarrassing. Just be present in the present time. If something interferes with your relationship in the present, then you must do something. But you mustn’t do everything to prevent all undesirable events or situations which might happen in your future because, in fact, they might have never ever happened in your future.

If you are worrying about something, be it in your relationship or in other aspects of your life, it is important not to hide your concerns from your significant other. Have a cordial conversation about the problems you are facing as it will help your significant other understand that you are feeling stressed out. Because your significant other is not the mind–reader after all. Because your significant other could help you find the most accurate solution or at least try to make you feel less worried about it. Just give a chance for the cordial conversation to happen. The truth is, no relationship is perfect. No relationship can stand against the harshest and coldest winds. No relationship is unbreakable. Every relationship can break. Every relationship can go through tough times. Relationships end when you stop communicating. And only the cordial conversations where every word is listened to and heard make your relationship deep and strong.

When your daily thoughts are consumed with fear about the relationship, ask yourself the question, how can your significant other understand you completely in this condition? How can your relationship be the utmost delicate if you cannot express your feelings through words, or if you cannot find the accurate words and pronounce them enveloped with cordiality? How can your relationship be the utmost wonderful if you avoid open conversations? Conversation is the basis of any relationship. Conversation is the basis for understanding. Conversation is the basis of love. Only conversation unfolds everything inside the other soul: emotions, feelings, worries, wishes.

2. Stop being anxious about your relationship

Anxiety isn’t just overblown nervousness. Anxiety is a loss of control over your own self. Anxiety is apologizing for things that don’t even require the words, ‘I’m sorry.’ Suffering from anxiety means you are constantly worrying when nothing is wrong. You begin to have irrational thoughts and begin to feel extremely nervous and tense (you are feeling yourself as a bundle of nerves), your hands are trembling, you lose complete focus on the present moment, you are shaking, and you feel overwhelmed. Then, you start to feel alone because you don’t know how to handle this situation; you might even start crying loudly, but nothing is wrong.

Being anxious about something is being unconfident about it because confident is never a word someone will use when they have anxiety. Especially when it comes to relationships. Being anxious means being almost too nervous and too careful. Afraid to ever fully be yourself because you believe this single word that has influenced so much of your life even dictated it, won’t be accepted or understood by your significant other. Anxiety replays by envisioning in your cognition [in your mind] every moment, every remembrance, every glance, every whispered word, every conversation, every smile, every wrist touch, and interpreting it through the multiple variations of the ‘what–if’–scenario: from the neutral ‘what–if’–scenario to the worst ‘what–if’–scenario, and disrupts the transparency in your understanding of the reality. Inclusiveness of cognitive visualization of ‘what–if’–scenarios disrupt your nervous system. Everything that was simple to understand becomes complicated, everything that was cordial becomes intriguing in a negative aspect, everything that you trusted becomes full of doubts. Just so you can prepare for how you’ll react if the worst–case scenario were to become a reality. Anxiety disrupts your trust. It disrupts everything around you. It makes your reality a different version. It makes you a different version of yourself. It creates problems in your life that are not actually the problems, but you are making them be. Over feeling. Overthinking. Overanalyzing. Overcaring. Overtrying. All of this is generated by the fear of reading a situation wrong, fear of getting hurt, fear of not having control. Every glance, every smile, every touch, every move, every conversation, and every minute is overthought. Everything is intensive. Everything is magnified. Your every emotion is tripled. You are intimidated and terrified. Because you don’t want to get hurt. And you are embarrassed so much, that you feel ashamed, or guilty about falling in love, being in love, having the relationship, because falling in love, being in love, and having the relationship is the scariest thing in the world. And you don’t want to lose, you don’t want to be hurt, and you don’t want your significant other to get hurt because of you. It’s an incredibly vulnerable position to put yourself through. One side of your heart wants to fall in love and to be in love because you know how incredible love can be. And the other side of your heart whispers that everything may be disrupted, everything may get wrong, everything may get in the direction where your relationship would face the inevitable consequences and you just don’t even want to try to alter at least something because you are intimidated that through the alteration you may disrupt everything in your relationship. Conclusively, you feel scared and lost because you do want to change some aspects in your relationship, but would these changes be accepted or understood by your significant other is the most controversial thing you do want to have the answer for.

Anxiety magnifies your every thought and every feeling. 

Your anxiety tells you to stop the relationship. Your anxiety tells you to not feel anything. Your anxiety tells you to become numb. Because feeling nothing at all is better than feeling broken hearted. Anxiety is an ending that emotionally destroys you. It’s trying to handle it with the utmost delicacy but at the same time, you’re in tears wondering, when things changed and what you did wrong.

If you would like to glance through the more detailed explanations of how anxiety changes you and how to cope with the anxiety, follow this link: http://ovu.com/blog/infertility-anxiety-and-depression One thing you should take into consideration while reading the above–mentioned article is that you the article was written to explain the psychological dimension of infertility, but it describes the anxiety’s paradigm in the utmost accurate, inclusive and transparent way, therefore can be recommended for reading. 

153. Are you continuously thinking, rethinking and over–thinking your relationship issues with an utmost dramatization of every single detail until the moment you are completely confused and emotionally exhausted? Are you on a constant search for answers to all your questions? Does the way you think is like a nonstop cycle of irrelevant thoughts, envisioning all versions of the probable situations which may happen to you and your significant other, that is absolutely exhausting?

154. Are you scared about letting your significant other close enough to understand your soul and the way you think because you have always been strong for yourself and you fear vulnerability?

155. Do you think about the absolute worst–case scenario in almost any situation, even minor ones?

156. Do you find yourself experiencing panic attacks? Are the panic attacks almost a daily occurrence for you? Do you experience weakness, dizziness, tremors, breathing difficulty, heart palpitations because of fear? Do your attacks come randomly, usually with no trigger? Do you literally feel like your body is going to simultaneously collapse and explode? Do you experience panic attacks at the most random of times, even sometimes if you’re just curling up on the sofa, thinking about your relationship and doing absolutely nothing remotely stressful with nothing on your mind at all?

157. Are there the situations when you are struggling for every single breath, which hurts you, ever come close to drowning and quite suddenly unable to breathe or focus or trust that you’re going to be okay? When you are experiencing anxiety, or when you suddenly have a panic attack, do you get into a hyper–sense state where suddenly everything becomes very loud and very bright to you?

158. Do you find yourself feeling anxious for no particular reason? Do you want to curl up in bed and sleep away your anxiety most of the days you experience its attacks? Do you think that there is no sense in your life without your significant other if your relationship would be broken? Does your fear so paralyzing that it makes you stop thinking about the future? 

159. Have you ever had the moments when you wanted to explain to your significant other ‘this is what you are dealing with and I understand if you want to leave.’ but at the same time you thought about it, you hid it deeply inside your soul?

160. Have you ever had the moments when you wanted to burst into tears, or scream out loudly because of the utmost frustration that occurred because you couldn’t prevent something, or something interfered in your life, you made a mistake and your immediate assumption was, he was going to leave, and everything you have done was wrong, but you repressed yourself from bursting into tears despite your anxiety blasted on full force and conclusively, at present you understand that every time you became confused, embarrassed or frustrated, you cannot breathe because of suffocating feeling of bitterness inside?

161. Have you ever had the moments when you felt lost because you thought that your relationship was nearly ended up but answered the questions of your significant other that ‘it is very difficult to breathe because there is something I cannot explain you’, and burst into tears?

162. Have you ever had the moments when your anxiety told you to stop, to not feel anything, to become numb because feeling nothing at all was better than feeling broken hearted?

163. How often do you have the irrational thoughts and begin to feel extremely nervous and tense, you lose complete focus on the present moment, you are shaking, and you feel overwhelmed?

164. Have you ever analyzed what exactly made you anxious (glances, voice tone, smiles, gestures, words, behavioral patterns)?

165. Have you ever had a conversation with your significant other about your anxiety?

166. How does your significant other react to your anxiety? (Comforting words, passionate hugs, you are curling up or cuddling up together, or something else?)

167. How do you feel after you listened to comforting words of your significant other? How do you feel after you have curled up or cuddled up together? Are there the other comforting methods which can help you to cope with your anxiety you do want your significant other to know?

Anxiety isn’t just overblown nervousness. This version of nervousness is extremely crippling. Anxiety causes you to feel frustrated and falls into sadness because you feel irrational and irritated (or irrational and indignant) at times for the little control you have over your own thoughts. Anxiety is more than the exhaustion. Exhausted isn’t just enough to describe the state you are going through when experiencing an anxiety’s attack. You are exhausted but, this exhaustion is beyond physiological exhaustion. It’s psychological exhaustion, it’s emotional exhaustion. It is the mortal fatigue. You are emotionally exhausted from being strong. You are emotionally exhausted from struggling with your mind. You are exhausted of trying to curl on that wonderful smile on your face and of making your swollen because of tears eyes glittering and gorgeous. You are exhausted of struggling for every single breath, which hurts you. You are exhausted of trembling. You are exhausted of feeling embarrassed and lost. Because when you are always the strong one, you usually suppress your desires, thoughts, and sometimes even how you feel. Because when you are always the strong one, you are very cautious about giving your problems to anyone else. Even the strongest personalities end up needing someone the most to listen, to advise, to hug. Someone who is just a little bit stronger than they are. Your significant other is that one who is stronger than you. You should have the space to have a weak moment, even if you used to tell yourself to not let anyone in or let them know of your struggles with anxiety. And the worst thing to note down about anxiety if you try to cope with it but all your soothing techniques fail is that it commonly leads to depression.

3. Stop being depressed about your relationship

Depression can represent itself in several different ways, but it is not always in the form of sadness, in many cases, it can be a lack of motivation, ambition, or a feeling of failure. Depression is an utterly isolating. It’s sometimes feeling sad, sometimes feeling empty, and sometimes feeling absolutely nothing at all. There are times when depression can leave you feeling paralyzed in your own mind and body, unable to do the things you used to love to do or the things you know you should be doing.

Depression starts with sadness. The sadness is overwhelming; then the numbness joins in. The little things may cause depression — the small, reoccurring moments that unknowingly and secretively add up to something much greater. These tiny bouts of sadness that you feel, if not resolved, end up coming back from the dead. They find a way to haunt you when you’re in your most vulnerable state. More than being overcome with sadness, depression is a feeling of hopelessness and a loss of purpose in one’s life. There are people who consider depression like it’s something deep, and special, and so wonderfully tragic, and maybe it is all those things to some extent. Depression is everything and nothing. It’s a mixture of sadness, anxiety, self–loathing, hopelessness and feeling nothing all at once. Having all of those emotions inside of you all at once is a special kind of hell and the battle that you deal with on a daily basis is exhausting.

Depression is that cloud that doesn’t seem to go away ever. And even in those happy moments, you cling to, you know it’s still hovering over you. Depression waits. It creeps and lurks. It waits for the best day of your life and your happiest moment just so the next one can be your worst.

It’s the fear of such happiness because you know it’s bound to fade.

Depression always follows anxiety. More than being overcome with sadness, depression is a feeling of hopelessness and a loss of purpose in one’s life. It’s a shift in your brain where everything is negative, and you fail to see the light. Understanding the similarities between anxiety and depression are vital to understanding their relationship and how one may lead to another.

Some of the similarities between them are a lack of sleep or staying awake and being completely exhausted throughout the day. Both disorders are built on the common foundation of not feeling good enough. More than anything they both have a lot to do with self–image and a lack of self–confidence. Both disorders are the want and need to control something one may feel they can’t which leads to an insecurity within oneself and a negative mindset. It’s a cycle of one disorder constantly bouncing off and triggering the other.

Depression consists of the pain and despair which are so strong that there are times you wish you weren’t there. You look at yourself in the mirror and don’t even recognize your own reflection. You don’t like the way you feel. You don’t want to live like this. Wish the thoughts would just go away so you won’t have to deal with this anymore. Wish the emotional exasperation left you so you won’t have to deal with this anymore. Because you are too tired of trying to hide all your emotions. Even if nothing was wrong before the depression, everything seems wrong when it descends. Suddenly, no one seems loving or lovable. Everything causes indignation. Everything is irritating. Any activity takes many times more effort, what was challenging feels overwhelming; what was sad or bitter feels unbearable; what felt delightful feels sorrowful, or, at best, a glimpse of satisfaction, or a glimpse of ephemeral delight in an ocean of pain. There is a heavy feeling in your soul, rather as when someone you doted on has died; but no one has – except, you. When you look in the mirror and see only dead eyes. There is no glitter. No delight. No hope. You wonder how you will manage to exist another day.

168. Are you constantly overthinking about your relationship? Are you constantly replaying the conversation you had in your head? Are you constantly overthinking and worrying about your significant other?

169. Are you constantly finding yourself that you feel complete one minute and the next very second, you are hit with a tsunami of panic and uneasiness that your relationship would be broken?

170. Are you constantly finding yourself that even in the moments of the utmost delight you suddenly may feel worthless and panicked? And this your spontaneous reaction causes you so much stress and pain because you can never figure out what causes or triggers it.

171. Are you constantly finding yourself that you don’t want to tell anyone how you are? Are you constantly finding yourself that you are feeling extra lonely most of the time? Moreover, you have decided that you won’t tell anyone how much misunderstanding with your significant other hurts you. You won’t tell anyone how you are trying to channel your love to your beloved into something greater than yourself but every time you do it ends with you are being confused and hurt and more broken. You feel suffocated by the feeling that no one loves you. And words strung together that broke you, you knew were not the love but the opposite. You are continuously replaying it in your mind the episode where you are always with your significant other, but this dream–thought is suddenly broken by your other thought that something would happen, and your relationship would be broken, or your significant other would disappear from your life, or the love would disappear from your life, or the cordial conversations would be turned into disputes and arguments, and all these irrelevant thoughts frustrate you deeply. You know this pain that was just now coming to the surface would consume. The truth is exactly what you want to avoid this imaginable scenario of your failure to have a cordial relationship.

172. Is every first thought in the morning and every last one at night about your relationship, and you are caught somewhere between love and heartbreak because of the thoughts about your relationship? Are you constantly analyzing your role in the relationship? Are you constantly analyzing what else should be done from your side to make your relationship more cordial? From the moment your beloved came into your life, the tone you spoke was always a little different. Every glance was a little more intense. The honest truth is you can propose nothing more but only yourself. You care more than you ever expected and as much as it might scare your beloved, it scares you even more. With every kind gesture and every kind word you pronounce, it’s impossible not to feel it. Every hug lingers a little longer. Every smile is a little brighter when your beloved is around. But you are not sure that your relationship would continue for a long time. You are not sure that you do enough to make your relationship ideal.

173. Do you often find yourself that you have no idea how you would even begin to explain that your relationship is bothering you the most of all and it is impossible for you to put these feelings into words?

174. Do you often find yourself crying yourself to sleep because of relationship?

175. Do you often find yourself feeling lifeless, numb, and bored with life?

176. Do you often find yourself bursting into tears at night? And at night the tears would always creep aggressively back in and rock you to sleep? Would you obsess over your day and feel tremendous guilt and anxiety tied to depressive episodes coincides with your life so much that you think that your life is worthless?

177. Do you often find yourself drowning out with the thoughts of yourself–hatred that torments you and that you would do whatever you can to avoid the sinking feeling that you hate your life and yourself, so you try to numb yourself with antidepressant drugs?

Depression is seeing things in monotone. Everything is grey, black, blue, or purple. Depression is holding back tears every time you drive. Depression is purposely reliving your most painful memories. Depression is watching other people laugh and wondering if you will ever be like them. Depression is the constant feeling of hopelessness and numbness. Depression is not just a sadness that can be overcome by pretending to be happy. Depression is random. Depression is unpredictable. Depression is painful. Depression is life changing. Depression is deadly. Depression is real. Depression is unfixable.

4. Stop being afraid of being heartbroken

Nothing is perfect. In a long–term committed relationship, significant ones and situations change. Being inflexible to these situations disrupts all the romantic patterns you both had, and, conclusively causes the destruction of your relationship. But it doesn’t mean the end of your relationship at all. It means just the alterations of the several aspects. And if your relationship is based on love, the heartbreak would denote the following: true love is never forgotten. Because it was the utmost charmingly cordial. Because it was the utmost delicate. Because it was the utmost deep. Time may fade the vividness of your remembrances and bring healing to your broken heart, but that person is never erased from your mind, their presence is never entirely forgotten because these remembrances are envisioned in your mind from time to time, no matter how much time has passed. Their love will always be missed. True love leaves a permanent scar that will never fully fade. It will change you intrinsically and become a part of you eternally. You will feel pain, sorrow, loneliness, and suffering but not hatred. True love will reminisce. It will romanticize your relationship and make it perfect in your consciousness. It will discard the flaws and diminish the fractures along the way that led to its ultimate demise. The delightful memories will be the ones stored closest to your soul. They will be retold in your commentaries and in your conversations. If you do want this scenario to be implemented in your future, you may continue being afraid of being heartbroken. But if you want to prevent this undesirable scenario for your relationship, then you should do everything to stop being afraid of the heartbreak. 

Instead of overthinking, think logically. True love is the understanding that everything has its time and place. True love will always care. Start caring about your significant other. Even after the extreme pain has been inflicted by your irrational thoughts about the end of your relationship, you should take in consideration that true love will wish nothing but the best. True love ultimately wants what’s best for the other. If you do want to make your relationship the utmost cordial, the utmost delicate, and the utmost strong, then caring about your significant other should be one of your priorities. Because the time is a very ephemeral thing. If you are continuously lost in your embarrassment and frustration, you may not notice that something has started to change. And you wouldn’t have enough time to do something about it. And time is the only thing you both have. Every glance, every hug, every touch, every smile, and every word has its own time and place. You should stop being afraid of being heartbroken if you do want to be loved and to give your love. Be present in the present moment. You have enough love in your heart to make your relationship glow. You have enough verbal skills to express your love through the conversations. You have enough delicacy in every touch and every hug to express your love through your soul and heart without uttering a single word.

178. Are you constantly afraid of being heartbroken?

179. Does the grief bubble inside you and make your eyes tearful at the slightest mental provocation caused by the irrelevant thought — like hearing your loved one’s name, a sad song, glancing at the stairs, glancing through the window to glimpse the sunshine?

180. Are there any strong indicators that something is wrong with your relations? Are you different people who want different things?

181. What is your view on relationships? What do you want out of your relationship?

182. How can you change the situation? What should be done by you and by your loved one to SHOW the care?

Your relationship is the part of a larger pattern issue that only you and your significant other have the power to fix. It will give you the new perspective. It will give you the new vision. It will give you the new versions of what should be done to make your relationship charmingly cordial. 

CONCLUSION

Four things you should do if you would like your relationship to be cordial, deep, and strong

1. Emotional prioritization 

Never neglect your emotions. Never neglect the emotions of your loved one. Emotional prioritization is essential in the relationship. Because through emotional interaction you build a connection.

If you neglect the emotional prioritization, you will experience emotional and psychological abuse because of misunderstanding. You will experience control. You will experience the pain and suffering and yelling and hurting and scars. But you never deserve any of the above–listed abuse. Because the relationship is the beautiful thing. Therefore, prioritize your emotions and your significant other’s emotions.

An ideal relationship is something more than beautiful, something more charming, something more than intriguing, something more than simple, something more than overwhelming. Because the ideal relationship is complicated. The ideal relationship is utterly complicated. It is more than adoration. It is more than desire. It is more than passion. It is more than a glance. It is more than a glimpse. It is more than a smile. It is more than a whispered word. It is more than a gesture. It is more than a touch. It is more than a wrist–hold.

The ideal relationship is everything done with the utmost cordiality. The ideal relationship is everything done with the utmost delicacy . The ideal relationship is everything done with the utmost sympathy. The ideal relationship is everything done with the utmost respect. everything has a special deep meaning. 

Glance is furtive but utmost deep as it penetrates through your soul. Glance is fleeting but utmost wistful as it ‘desires’ to ‘scream’ the sorrow. Glance is withering but utmost delicate as it ‘wants’ to ‘shout’ the indignation. Languorous dark eyes are glittering in the utmost flirtatious way as they ‘communicate’ with you secretly. The charming smile is utmost intriguing as it ‘wants’ to ‘show’ there is something else. Words are chosen accurately and whispered in the utmost sparkling delicate tone. Gestures are utmost gorgeous. Touch is utmost sensitive. Wrist–holdings are utterly cordial. Everything has a definite deep feeling. Everything has a special emphases. Everything has a special charm. Things are done exclusively because they appear sophisticated and impressive. Everything is done according to the personal preferences. Everything is done with the utmost attention.

2. Never be a controlling personality

Controlling behavior destroys a relationship in all manner of ways which the controller never envisions. Control always involves Criticism. To control your loved one in a relationship, you will inevitably have to criticize him. If he is constantly being bossed in the relationship by you he will slowly but surely build up resentment towards you. The same thing happens if your loved one is constantly controlling you. Control disrupts the romance of the relationship, leaving the strong emotional abuse. 

3. Respect. Respect. Respect. Everyone worths being respected.

There is no relationship without respect. If there is no respect, there is the only argument. And nothing else. Annihilation of respect destroys the relationship. If someone is controlling you, it’s difficult for you to have respect for that person. Likewise, if someone is easily able to control someone, it is difficult for them to respect the person they are controlling. Respect is the major, vital constituent to a relationship. Control destroys respect.

4. Conversations.

Embrace all your feelings and have a conversation with your significant other about them. Do not keep your feelings to yourself. Do not challenge yourself to be so vulnerable. Do not challenge yourself to overthink about everything. Do not challenge yourself to do everything to make your relationship perfect through the complete negligence, or ignorance of something that is important to you. You can cope with mostly everything. Even if your conversation became nervous or even if your conversation is cordial but awkward.

Sometimes several words are enough to change everything around you. Sometimes several words are enough to change you. Try the most delicate soothing method – conversation. Conversation is the best way to cope with any situation. Conversation with your significant other, even if it is held in a whisper, is something inspiring, something that makes you think in a different way than you ever have before, but without ever losing sight of yourself and of who you are, something that helps you to stop thinking about status and self–importance and image and brand and all those other awful concepts.

Delicate Conversation is the only implicit and explicit thing that harmonizes and balances your relationship. conversation reveals verbally everything that is envisioned, considered, and supposed. It is a strong imperative of your relationship. Everything is based on words. Choosing the word, you are choosing your fortune and your beloved fortune. Everything is disrupted and is inspired by the conversation. Everything is revealed through the conversation. Everything is changed through the conversation. Everything is stabilized through the conversation. If you feel that something going wrong in your relationship, you need a conversation.